Monday, June 20, 2011

It Will Happen

Someone said to today, "It will happen" with such complete belief.  I struggle with worry.  And desire for control.  But, it will happen.  We'll get to Italy.  Our supporters hearts are still being molded.  God knows.  And we'll get to Italy.  Why?  Because He promised us.

Side note on that, when God speaks to your heart:  listen, act, now.  Because God's been prompting me for months to do this one thing.  But (surprise) I was worried.  I did it.  And following God's leading always leaves me with a peaceful heart.

It will happen.  For us.  For you (Lowes, Waltons, Taylors, Italy 4).  It will happen.

the papasan chair

Josh sold my double papasan chair this weekend.  I say he sold it, even though I told him to list it on craigslist, because I seem to have a strange attachment to that chair.

The lady sat in it, to gauge its comfort level, and I was silently hoping she wouldn't like it.

I actually cried after we loaded it into their van and watched the couple go on their way.  
Weird, I know.  Its not even like I used it much.  But I'm strangely attached to that chair.
We're one step closer.  Thanks Steph.

Thursday, June 16, 2011


As I look into my future, knowing the transient nature of it, I struggle with several things.  Materialism.  Relationships.  Discontent.  Anxiety.

Today its about relationships though.  I know I'm moving.  Sometimes that fact pushes me to build my relationships here as much as I can.  Invest in them.  Nurture them.  So that I have those memories when I'm waist deep in culture stress.  And so that maybe I don't have to start from scratch when I return.  There are other times, though, when its incredibly hard to build those relationships.

I love those relationships with people who 'just get me.'  Those special people are few and far between.  The other day Josh and I had cokes with two people who we just connect with.  They 'get' us, and while its so good to see them, its hard to say goodbye.

Not all relationships are like that.  They can't be.  But what I love about it is the 'realness.'  The purity of conversation.  I don't have to edit myself.  I don't have to not talk about something because of the advice or criticism someone will offer.  Or the silence.

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Faith & Trust

I'm thankful.  I'm thankful that people see Josh and I as missionaries and this 'step of faith' we're taking, as they so often refer to it.  Hopefully, our lives can be testimonies to the people around of of God's grace and provision.    But the whole 'deciding to be a missionary, move to the other side of the world, sell all our stuff' - that was an easy decision.  It was never a question.  We've know for years this was our path.

The harder part is continuing to trust that he led us to the right field.  We followed in faith, but what if we made a mistake.  Trusting that he will bring in our funds.  Every.Single.Day.  Some days I don't worry at all.  Some days I'm so frustrated and stressed that I make myself sick.

Challenging people is so hard.  And I currently stink at it.  People tell us they admire our faith.  How do I challenge them to grow theirs by giving back to God what is already His in the first place; trusting that He'll provide for their needs, just as He provides for ours.

How do you balance your desires with God's will?  He knows the desires of our hearts, but when is it time to let go of an idea?  When do you pray with all your heart for things to happen?  Do you question?  Do you challenge yourself?  Do you quit your job hoping and praying that this results in urgency from partners?

I've asked all those questions of myself in the past 24 hours.  My life (and little ol' brain) is swirling with questions these days.  Questions that I don't have answers to.  Some that I don't want answers to.  A few that I'm afraid to ask because I'm just not strong enough yet.  Oh - and another - when / how do you just start believing its going to happen?

All that verbal (written?) vomit being said, we're building our prayer team this month.  Or, I guess, I am.  I've sort of taken on this task as Josh works on setting up appointments for the rest of the summer.  Though we may talk of financial support more, prayer support is even more vital.  We've been convicted recently of our lack of effort in building our prayer team.

So, this is me, now.  I'm seeking prayer warriors.  People who will commit to spending some serious time praying for us.  On your knees, in your closet, driving to work.  Because this whole trusting thing, its hard.

(In case you're trying to read between the lines [I hate it when bloggers write in abstract verses the facts] somewhere in there are thoughts on infertility and timing and all that jazz.  But I guess that's abstract too.)

Saturday, June 11, 2011

Everything Must Go

As we prepare to move overseas, we will be getting rid of our material possessions.  The first step in this processed happened 30 minutes ago.  We sold our dining table and chairs.  (We've used them a total of two times since our move in November, 3 times since we got married two years ago.)

Our Italy Jar has begun.

I cannot even explain how real that moment made our journey.  Its really happening.

I often say to visitors, everything you see if for sale.  And I mean it.  Of course, we aren't selling everything today, or in the coming weeks, that would be silly since we have a ways to go, 12 months!, before our move.  But, if you made me a good offer on my couch, I just might take you up on it.

Everything Must Go.  (Eventually.)

PS - one piece is already spoken for.  Just in case you're in love with my coffee table, you could get dibs on it now.

Here we go.

Thursday, June 9, 2011

Apartment Hunting

No - I'm not moving again.  At least not furniture.  Translation - I won't be asking for moving help.  :)

But I am spending a healthy amount of time apartment hunting via the world wide web.  I have found a dozen apartments that are affordable and have decent space.  Too bad they're all miles from any possible target areas.  They might as well be at the airport.

It sure is fun though.

Wednesday, June 8, 2011


Our team was here this weekend.  (My previous post was supposed to be posted Saturday.  Apparently I got distracted, surprise surprise.)

Note to self - this would be better if I had pictures.  :(

For our weekend together there really wasn't an agenda.  It was simply a time to learn more about one another (you know - before we moved across an ocean together).  We went to a Royals game, ice cream, church, a very American Italian festival, the Plaza, and some other random events.  We shared a lot of meals and basked in air conditioning - trying to absorb what life will be like without central air.

Many hours were spent envisioning the life we'll have at this time next year.  I'm pretty sure there were several times when everyone in the room was on some sort of ipad/iphone/ipod or macbook.  (Apparently we are a team of Apple lovers.)  The Italian version of Reece & Nichols, google maps streetview, and Ikea's Italian websites were our favorites.

Do they have driers?  Answer - no.  What about dishwashers?  Answer - yes, and comparably priced to the US.  What's the exchange rate?  Answer - bad.  Do three bedroom flats exist?  Sure - as long as you don't want a dining room.  How much do airlines charge for excess baggage?  Answer - you don't want to know.

At any rate is was a great weekend of connecting and bonding, which will be good for culture stress - at least we'll 'like' these people we're fighting with :).  Josh and I have come away rejuvenated and excited about serving in Italy.  We remember why we're doing this. Our boldness and been encouraged and increased and I believe, with all myself, that a year from now, I'll be writing to your from thousands of miles away.  (Unless of course you're reading in Spain, then I'll be right next door!)

The Team is Here

Our team is all coming to Kansas City this weekend.  Food, fun, fellowship...this is how we roll.

We will have a lot of 'fun' this weekend, but it will really be more than that.  Learning about each other, how we interact, each others strengths and weaknesses.  Though three days doesn't seem like a lot, its what we've got to work with being that we're spread across the country.

In August we're scheduled for an Interpersonal Communication training course.  Team Training - two weeks of indepth, intensive training on short cycle church planting - is set for next March.  This is all the time we'll have together before we hop on planes and cross the atlantic.  We're supposed to leave a year from now.  (Don't freak out, don't freak out.)