I hate the feeling of being bottled up. Of having to suppress emotions because people won't understand, I won't communicate myself clearly, and everything gets all blown out of proportion. I want to be able to express frustrations and other people to react honestly, without defensiveness. There are times, now for example, when I'm not able to say whats on my mind because its not my place or in dread of retaliation. Can people not take constructive criticism? Can people not just play by the rules in the first place? Can't we all just get along.
I desire unity. Realness. Honesty. Vulnerability. Community. Living life together. Not living life in the general vicinity of one another and calling that community. But actually together. As a team, as a unit. Being real in that. The ability to communicate openly with one another, understand that each person is different, unique, with value to offer. Not always thinking in terms of right and wrong, but with open ideas and examination. I dream of a world where I can give someone advice and their only thought is that I do it to help them in some way, not because I think I'm right and they're wrong. This world is so accusatory, defensive, independent. Can we not live in fellowship with one another? People are different. Different gifts, qualities, talents, opinions.