A friend of mine just hosted Beauty Week on her blog, and let me just say that it was so inspiring and encouraging. This is definitely an area of my life that I need to work on-being the very best me, instead of constantly comparing myself to others.
I have always dreamed of being thinner than I am. Summer time is always a prickly reminder that I'm not fond of several areas of my body. I'd really enjoy wearing a cute pair of shorts. I'd really like to lay out by the pool and be completely confident.
Besides these vain dreams I have, I also desire to be healthy. My body fat index is high, and though I'm not technically overweight, I'm at the very top of the range of what my weight should be for my height (5'7"). Josh and I were doing so well with our eating throughout April and May. I was also loving my workout time and trips to the gym. I could feel myself getting stronger and was beginning to see a visible difference. Though I had lost only two pounds (can you say frustrating), I was beginning to see a bit of definition and perhaps an inch or two loss. I'm really not sure what happened in June, other than some crazy events that very much disrupted our family routine. We ate out A LOT in June. And that's what does it for me-greasy hamburgers and fried food.
What I'm attempting to say is that lately I've been struggling with a positive body image. I think I may swear off shorts for good. I'm just going to stop trying. I don't think I've ever looked good in shorts since I was twelve. Maybe if I swear off shorts, I can avoid all this frustration that I go through every summer.
All this being said, I'm trying to motivate myself to return to that routine: egg yolks for breakfast, straight to the gym after work, more veggies, less meat.
Tomorrow I will be on a pontoon boat, awkwardly uncomfortable in my own skin. Twisted motivation? At this rate I'll be all content with my body right around the time when its time to put away the summer clothes. :)
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Monday, June 28, 2010
Lost
My routine has been completely crazy and out of whack as of late. I don't like it. The past three weeks have been absolutely crazy, a hundred events and circumstances that I never even saw coming. Whatever is going on, God has to have a hand in it because this is insane.
I miss blogging. Hopefully this life will become a little less of a tailspin and everything can calm down.
Going to Phoenix on Thursday.
I miss blogging. Hopefully this life will become a little less of a tailspin and everything can calm down.
Going to Phoenix on Thursday.
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
I think I have a hole in my stomach
Anyone know what an ulcer feels like? Because I think I have one. Either that or heartburn. Or something very uncomfortable that deals with my gut. It stinks.
I had an ulcer once when I was twelve, but I can't remember what that felt like. I also haven't had heartburn more than five times in my entire life. All I know is that I've had the same 'thing' for the past three days. I'm more annoyed than anything.
So, if you've had an ulcer, please tell me what it feels like. If you've experienced frequent heartburn I'd also like to know. If I decide I have an ulcer I may go to the doctor.
I've just now realized I can probably Google ulcers and heartburn. Or visit those medical sites. But, since I hadn't thought of it earlier and this post is nearly done, I'm posting anyway.
I had an ulcer once when I was twelve, but I can't remember what that felt like. I also haven't had heartburn more than five times in my entire life. All I know is that I've had the same 'thing' for the past three days. I'm more annoyed than anything.
So, if you've had an ulcer, please tell me what it feels like. If you've experienced frequent heartburn I'd also like to know. If I decide I have an ulcer I may go to the doctor.
I've just now realized I can probably Google ulcers and heartburn. Or visit those medical sites. But, since I hadn't thought of it earlier and this post is nearly done, I'm posting anyway.
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
And There's More.
As if my day wasn't eventful enough, here's one more...
Josh and I were both sitting at our desks (there's four cubicles in our office, we sit next to each other) and he says, rather nonchalantly... "oh, there's another wasp."
Are you kidding me?! I looked over, bolted from my chair and ran from the room. I'm pretty sure I was yelling something at this point. Probably yelling for Randy to come kill the wasp, but he was no where to be found. I'm not exactly sure why I assumed that Josh wouldn't kill the wasp. Not that I was wrong, because when I returned ten minutes later and asked if the wasp was still around, Josh just said "I think its over there." He was obviously very concerned about it.
Seriously, you should have been there, I was being ridiculous.
Josh and I were both sitting at our desks (there's four cubicles in our office, we sit next to each other) and he says, rather nonchalantly... "oh, there's another wasp."
Are you kidding me?! I looked over, bolted from my chair and ran from the room. I'm pretty sure I was yelling something at this point. Probably yelling for Randy to come kill the wasp, but he was no where to be found. I'm not exactly sure why I assumed that Josh wouldn't kill the wasp. Not that I was wrong, because when I returned ten minutes later and asked if the wasp was still around, Josh just said "I think its over there." He was obviously very concerned about it.
Seriously, you should have been there, I was being ridiculous.
What Do These Things Have in Common?
1. Blush
2. Skim Milk
3. Diet Pepsi
4. Josh's diet coke
5. JIF peanut butter
If you can guess I'll tell you the story!
Acutally, you'll never guess so I'll tell you anyway.
These are all things I just happened to spill on myself in a 4 hour window this morning. I seriously need to go home, there must be a full moon or something. I NEVER spill stuff. Story: How I don't know but I managed to spill nearly half of my bare essentials powder blush in my lap on the way to work this morning. (Josh was driving. :) ) Then while pouring milk on my cereal at my desk, I somehow managed to pour it down the side of my jeans and onto the floor. As I was walking across the street, carrying my QT diet pepsi I dripped in on the front of my white tank top. Only a few minutes later I was eating peanut butter and apples at my desk, and I seriously have no idea how this happened, but I dropped a blob of peanut butter right onto the carpet. At least it missed my clothes. And lastly (hopefully!) I went to QT over lunch to get more drinks, was carrying a drink for me and Josh; as I was fiddling with my keys to unlock the door I dropped Josh's 32oz drink, managing to catch it only between my body and the car. While I saved the majority of the drink, several splashes found my jeans.
Needless to say, I got about a week's worthy of dramatic effect into my morning. After the peanut butter incident I had a good long rant which lasted all the way to the second floor as I was looking for some all purpose cleaner. Another entertaining rant was given when I returned from QT after lunch. Anna checked and, thank heavens, there is no full moon tonight.
Thankfully, there are no breakables within arms reach.
2. Skim Milk
3. Diet Pepsi
4. Josh's diet coke
5. JIF peanut butter
If you can guess I'll tell you the story!
Acutally, you'll never guess so I'll tell you anyway.
These are all things I just happened to spill on myself in a 4 hour window this morning. I seriously need to go home, there must be a full moon or something. I NEVER spill stuff. Story: How I don't know but I managed to spill nearly half of my bare essentials powder blush in my lap on the way to work this morning. (Josh was driving. :) ) Then while pouring milk on my cereal at my desk, I somehow managed to pour it down the side of my jeans and onto the floor. As I was walking across the street, carrying my QT diet pepsi I dripped in on the front of my white tank top. Only a few minutes later I was eating peanut butter and apples at my desk, and I seriously have no idea how this happened, but I dropped a blob of peanut butter right onto the carpet. At least it missed my clothes. And lastly (hopefully!) I went to QT over lunch to get more drinks, was carrying a drink for me and Josh; as I was fiddling with my keys to unlock the door I dropped Josh's 32oz drink, managing to catch it only between my body and the car. While I saved the majority of the drink, several splashes found my jeans.
Needless to say, I got about a week's worthy of dramatic effect into my morning. After the peanut butter incident I had a good long rant which lasted all the way to the second floor as I was looking for some all purpose cleaner. Another entertaining rant was given when I returned from QT after lunch. Anna checked and, thank heavens, there is no full moon tonight.
Thankfully, there are no breakables within arms reach.
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Wonderful Daily Grind
Work is busy! This summer's candidate orientation program (COP) starts in just over three weeks and I can feel the craziness beginning. It probably should have begun a couple weeks ago, but I'm being more laid back this time around. Although I'm enjoying this laid back version of myself, its going to cause a problem because more than half our candidates have not paid their registration yet, so I can't 100% count on them attending, ... I'm sure you really aren't all that interested in the details of my job.
In the bigger picture, we have a possibility of appointing between 18 and 22 new missionaries next month! How amazing! (I'm saying between 18 and 22 not because I think we'll reject a few, but because those few may need to attend training in January.) How lucky am I to spend my days working with people hoping to serve on the mission field. 10 months out of the year I just like my job, but these two months when I spend everyday talking with our future missionaries - I LOVE my job! Yesterday I spent 30 minutes talking with Kelly* answering her various questions about what being a missionary might look like for her. I've had many of the same questions myself, and though I most certainly don't know all the answers, I can identify.
Josh and I went through our training past January, and I must say, it was one of the most valued times in my life. To be surrounded completely by individuals who "get it." We were able to identify with one another, be mutually encouraged, share stories of our frustrations and hopes and plans for the future were met with excitement rather than indifference or critical questioning. I can only hope that our candidates who arrive in July will be as blessed by this time as we were. I'm very much looking forward to having them here.
Also great - four of these future missionaries are planning on joining the Italy IV team. So barred any unforseen dramatic events, (someone turning out to be crazy) the entire Rome team (presently six) will be together. I'm very excited for this.
In the bigger picture, we have a possibility of appointing between 18 and 22 new missionaries next month! How amazing! (I'm saying between 18 and 22 not because I think we'll reject a few, but because those few may need to attend training in January.) How lucky am I to spend my days working with people hoping to serve on the mission field. 10 months out of the year I just like my job, but these two months when I spend everyday talking with our future missionaries - I LOVE my job! Yesterday I spent 30 minutes talking with Kelly* answering her various questions about what being a missionary might look like for her. I've had many of the same questions myself, and though I most certainly don't know all the answers, I can identify.
Josh and I went through our training past January, and I must say, it was one of the most valued times in my life. To be surrounded completely by individuals who "get it." We were able to identify with one another, be mutually encouraged, share stories of our frustrations and hopes and plans for the future were met with excitement rather than indifference or critical questioning. I can only hope that our candidates who arrive in July will be as blessed by this time as we were. I'm very much looking forward to having them here.
Also great - four of these future missionaries are planning on joining the Italy IV team. So barred any unforseen dramatic events, (someone turning out to be crazy) the entire Rome team (presently six) will be together. I'm very excited for this.
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Deputation Rhymes with Frustration
I've said before that depuation is hard. Its purpose I believe is to grow and stretch me therefore increasing my faith. Well, it also happens to increase frustration along the way.
I have complete faith that come July, Josh and I will be fine. Our support level needs to be at 50% - this is a number that our leadership has set for us. God may indeed have another plan. While Josh's salary may decrease, we will be fine. We are prepared financially for this to happen. We follow a budget, we save, we have an emergency fund.
Sometimes though, I find myself stressing about this support raising process. It was strange to me, to get so frustrated at the process, and yet have this confidence and lack of worry. How could I harbor both these feelings at the same time. But it hit me last night. I wasn't stressed because I thought we'd struggle financially in the coming months. I was stressed because I wasn't impressed with our efforts. We haven't made enough contact with potential supporters, we often forget to make phone calls and follow up with people. I was 100% confident that God would supply His funds in His time. But I wanted to be doing our part, and I feel like we aren't. While I know that God produces the results and its nothing I do, I still feel like I need to be putting in the work. I need to be trying.
Nikki had a really good line that fits perfectly with this, but I can't remember exactly. So, Nikki, please comment!
I have complete faith that come July, Josh and I will be fine. Our support level needs to be at 50% - this is a number that our leadership has set for us. God may indeed have another plan. While Josh's salary may decrease, we will be fine. We are prepared financially for this to happen. We follow a budget, we save, we have an emergency fund.
Sometimes though, I find myself stressing about this support raising process. It was strange to me, to get so frustrated at the process, and yet have this confidence and lack of worry. How could I harbor both these feelings at the same time. But it hit me last night. I wasn't stressed because I thought we'd struggle financially in the coming months. I was stressed because I wasn't impressed with our efforts. We haven't made enough contact with potential supporters, we often forget to make phone calls and follow up with people. I was 100% confident that God would supply His funds in His time. But I wanted to be doing our part, and I feel like we aren't. While I know that God produces the results and its nothing I do, I still feel like I need to be putting in the work. I need to be trying.
Nikki had a really good line that fits perfectly with this, but I can't remember exactly. So, Nikki, please comment!
Saturday, June 12, 2010
Thoughts...
I haven't posted in a few days, mostly because I haven't felt compelled to write about anything. Well that's actually not true. I know what I want to write about, but I'm not quite ready to blog about it. Someday soon hopefully. (And no, I'm not pregnant. I know you were thinking it.)
My apartment's clean. Yay! Tim & Marie came over for a bit today, and we furiously cleaned. I think people should come visit me weekly, and spontaneously, because I would then have motivation to keep this place clean. But don't all come over at once! Small apartment. I think it'd be cleaner if I actually had a place to put stuff. Can you say frustration!
Another score for today - I found a wine I actually like! (I never like wine. Ever.) Marie had bought this wine in Michigan and it was so good! Brea, you would be proud. I have two years to become fully prepared for Italy.
I know that I am exactly where God would have me, and that I am so thankful for. I have this deep inner peace about everything going on right now.
So there are some random thoughts on the day.
My apartment's clean. Yay! Tim & Marie came over for a bit today, and we furiously cleaned. I think people should come visit me weekly, and spontaneously, because I would then have motivation to keep this place clean. But don't all come over at once! Small apartment. I think it'd be cleaner if I actually had a place to put stuff. Can you say frustration!
Another score for today - I found a wine I actually like! (I never like wine. Ever.) Marie had bought this wine in Michigan and it was so good! Brea, you would be proud. I have two years to become fully prepared for Italy.
I know that I am exactly where God would have me, and that I am so thankful for. I have this deep inner peace about everything going on right now.
So there are some random thoughts on the day.
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Lost Routine
I have been to the gym once in the past ten days. Utter fail. No wonder I can't sleep at night. And we've been eating out a lot. (Apparently, we're emotional eaters. I never realized this about myself before.) Last week was VERY stressful (but ended great) and this week has been excitingly emotional. Our routine has been shaken up a bit, which has made it really hard to get back into our gym routine. I'd say that I have high hopes of hitting the gym right after work tomorrow, but... Tomorrow is Thursday, we're going to dinner with Linda and then Josh is going to trivia with Tim. So, perhaps we'll make it Friday. I hope so, because I'm getting flabby. :) I feel flabby anyway. And I honestly a really good workout. Even more than that I enjoy lower stress levels! So, I'm announcing to all your blog readers (perhaps all six of you? maybe?) that I AM going to get back into a routine of working out. Perhaps you can hold me accountable.
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Disrupted Plans
I've been looking forward to today for a couple weeks. Why? Tonight is my dear friend Becky's bridal shower. I love showers. But, and this is a big but, the weather man has forecasted severe storms and flash flooding. Driving two hours to Columbia does not seem wise if in fact he's correct. Not all hope is lost! I'm waiting, Josh is monitoring radar, and we'll decide later if we can make the trip. So if you're reading this before 4pm central time, pray the rain stops!
This has made me think about the plans I make. I'm a planner, a list maker. I have a genuine idea of what I would like my life to look like ten years from now. But, there may be flash flooding. What I mean is that God may have a different plan for me. I believe that I do what I can to follow God's leading on my heart, and pursue the paths that He would have me on. Still, I know that His course may change. I've experienced this so much, especially in the past few years. Twelve months ago I was very much wanting to go into missions in a few years, but at that point thought I needed some life experience before hitting the mission field. Apparently GOd didn't have the same idea, because now I'm a missionary. I'll be on the field in two years - this was not in my plan but His. AND I LOVE IT. I am so positively sure that this is where God wants us. I did not hesitate for a moment when the opportunity presented itself because I could feel God's hand in it. What a wonderful feeling.
My plan for ten years from now? Josh and I will have returned from Italy. We'll be living here, working in ministry with Avant preparing other missionaries and their families for serving on the field. My dream is that Josh takes on a missions pastor role at our church. The missions program there is starting to grow and I know that the members of that church have so much service in them. We could send an entire church planting team. Or several. Josh and I will (hopefully!) have a couple cute kiddos by then....I could go on for awhile about my plans.
And though I love my plan, I know that God may change it. Which is fine with me because His plans are always better than mine. And that is our desire - to serve Him in the way He would want.
This has made me think about the plans I make. I'm a planner, a list maker. I have a genuine idea of what I would like my life to look like ten years from now. But, there may be flash flooding. What I mean is that God may have a different plan for me. I believe that I do what I can to follow God's leading on my heart, and pursue the paths that He would have me on. Still, I know that His course may change. I've experienced this so much, especially in the past few years. Twelve months ago I was very much wanting to go into missions in a few years, but at that point thought I needed some life experience before hitting the mission field. Apparently GOd didn't have the same idea, because now I'm a missionary. I'll be on the field in two years - this was not in my plan but His. AND I LOVE IT. I am so positively sure that this is where God wants us. I did not hesitate for a moment when the opportunity presented itself because I could feel God's hand in it. What a wonderful feeling.
My plan for ten years from now? Josh and I will have returned from Italy. We'll be living here, working in ministry with Avant preparing other missionaries and their families for serving on the field. My dream is that Josh takes on a missions pastor role at our church. The missions program there is starting to grow and I know that the members of that church have so much service in them. We could send an entire church planting team. Or several. Josh and I will (hopefully!) have a couple cute kiddos by then....I could go on for awhile about my plans.
And though I love my plan, I know that God may change it. Which is fine with me because His plans are always better than mine. And that is our desire - to serve Him in the way He would want.
Friday, June 4, 2010
Deliciousness
Last night I made a new dish, Baked Ziti. I'd been planning on trying this for awhile, but I was out of spaghetti sauce. The apartment smelled amazing as it baked - that's one thing I love about cooking.
Two Reasons I love this dish:
350 calories / serving - perfect for my lunch meal, and since it's fiber enriched pasta, it keeps me satisfied all day. I got this recipe from my Biggest Loser Cookbook.
8 servings - perfect for lunches. Yesterday we'd eaten dinner out (celebratory dinner at Granite City, remember), but I baked this dish around 9pm because we were out of leftovers and had nothing to bring for lunch today. I'll save the rest of the servings for next week hopefully!
Note: I think I could get 12 or 16 servings out of this. It was more than I needed for lunch, plus that would cut the calories.
Super easy!
I'll try and post the recipe later.
Two Reasons I love this dish:
350 calories / serving - perfect for my lunch meal, and since it's fiber enriched pasta, it keeps me satisfied all day. I got this recipe from my Biggest Loser Cookbook.
8 servings - perfect for lunches. Yesterday we'd eaten dinner out (celebratory dinner at Granite City, remember), but I baked this dish around 9pm because we were out of leftovers and had nothing to bring for lunch today. I'll save the rest of the servings for next week hopefully!
Note: I think I could get 12 or 16 servings out of this. It was more than I needed for lunch, plus that would cut the calories.
Super easy!
I'll try and post the recipe later.
Thursday, June 3, 2010
Under Contract
We accepted an offer today. I think I may still be in shock, its slowing sinking in. Weight is being lifted off my shoulders. There is still the process of finalizing finances and having any inspections done, but we trust that there won't be any problems.
My prayer has been that the farm (the Murphy farm where I grew up) would sell before we went to Rome. I couldn't imagine dealing with the burden of owning it while I was overseas. Taxes, renters, insurance.... The Lord has definitely been in control of the situation, and I believe this has all taken place in His perfect timing.
Thank you to those of you who were praying over this sale. We feel immeasurably blessed.
Celebratory dinner at Granite City? I think so.
My prayer has been that the farm (the Murphy farm where I grew up) would sell before we went to Rome. I couldn't imagine dealing with the burden of owning it while I was overseas. Taxes, renters, insurance.... The Lord has definitely been in control of the situation, and I believe this has all taken place in His perfect timing.
Thank you to those of you who were praying over this sale. We feel immeasurably blessed.
Celebratory dinner at Granite City? I think so.
Patience...
Is not something I have a lot of. I don't think anyone would describe me as patient. I'm a decision maker. I don't need to "sleep on it." I make up my mind, and want results immediately. I rarely regret my decisions. So this waiting game that I find myself in, is torture.
We're waiting to go to Rome. I cannot believe I volunteered for this! The Rome in 2012 part, not the going to the mission field part. Seriously, we agreed to joining a team that wasn't leaving for more than two years? (Yes, I now, it was obvious that this was the path God wanted us on, but Really?)
This week we've found ourselves in negotiations for the sale of some real estate. Can you say torture? I just want to know, one way or the other. I don't want to wait. Its been back and forth phone calls since Tuesday, and I really can't think of anything else.
If you think of me today, pray that I have patience. And pray that everything goes smoothly in this sale.
We're waiting to go to Rome. I cannot believe I volunteered for this! The Rome in 2012 part, not the going to the mission field part. Seriously, we agreed to joining a team that wasn't leaving for more than two years? (Yes, I now, it was obvious that this was the path God wanted us on, but Really?)
This week we've found ourselves in negotiations for the sale of some real estate. Can you say torture? I just want to know, one way or the other. I don't want to wait. Its been back and forth phone calls since Tuesday, and I really can't think of anything else.
If you think of me today, pray that I have patience. And pray that everything goes smoothly in this sale.
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Meghan 1; Price Chopper 0
Since getting married I have discovered one thing about myself that I never would have expected. I hate grocery shopping. I practice meal planning, usually a two week time period but preferrably a month long meal plan. Because if I buy four weeks worth of groceries, I won't have to do it again for four weeks. I'm ok with running into Hyvee or Target for a gallon of milk (cheaper at Target), but I don't want to do the long haul, five grocery bag shopping trip any more than necessary.
I went grocery shopping today and I think I came out the winner. Definition: I wasn't a total grump by the end of it. Also - I didn't get three quarters of the way through my list and give up. So, I win. I will now be buying the majority of our groceries at Price Chopper because I think they have better prices overall. With the exception of a few things: extra lean ground turkey at Target in Liberty, fat free tortillas at Hyvee, and spaghetti sauce at Sam's Club.
I also think that it has been decided Josh will no longer accompany me on the big grocery shopping trips. I'm usually mad at him for some reason or another by the time the cart is full anyway. He didn't come tonight because he remembered that I didn't like him coming with me.
Moral of the story? I have conquered the grocery store, as well as my own impatience. I feel accomplished.
I went grocery shopping today and I think I came out the winner. Definition: I wasn't a total grump by the end of it. Also - I didn't get three quarters of the way through my list and give up. So, I win. I will now be buying the majority of our groceries at Price Chopper because I think they have better prices overall. With the exception of a few things: extra lean ground turkey at Target in Liberty, fat free tortillas at Hyvee, and spaghetti sauce at Sam's Club.
I also think that it has been decided Josh will no longer accompany me on the big grocery shopping trips. I'm usually mad at him for some reason or another by the time the cart is full anyway. He didn't come tonight because he remembered that I didn't like him coming with me.
Moral of the story? I have conquered the grocery store, as well as my own impatience. I feel accomplished.
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