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Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Quiet

Its so quiet at work.  The accountants are all super busy because of the end of the year.  Everyone else is gone.  I'm out of vacation days.  And have to be here to answer COP email. 

But it gives you time to think.

I find myself at a weird place in life.  Trying to prepare for the future:  for a reality that, no matter how hard I try to be prepared, I will never be prepared enough for.  Moving overseas as a missionary family.  So many things.  I am so thankful for friends in the same boat, in the same stage of life.  We've studied the Bible, we've taken every class offered on Missions, we've seen the faces of the lost with no hope.  But will we ever be prepared enough to make the move?

I find myself wondering what my reality will be in a year?  Will I be wrought with disappointment and heartache, wondering if I can really do this despite the year 2011?  Or will 2011 prove to be the best year of our lives?  What if its not?  What if that disappointment is a reality? 

These have been my thoughts the past few days.  They're hard to escape.  I'm definitely a thinker.  A planner.  A collector of information.  For some all the information would be depressing.  But I love it.  I must be as prepared as possible for whatever God has in store. 

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Life isn't about waiting for the storms to pass.

Its about learning to dance in the rain.


Dancing in the rain.

Tis the Season...

...For missionary applications!  

Btw, I want to take the Strength Finders assessment.  I do have a extra book laying on my desk...

...Lots of online shopping (Christmas & COP & Team Leader Training & Team Training).

...Trips to the UPS store (COP), receiving UPS packages (Team Leader Training), and ordering more books (Team Training). 

...Unpacking the remaining boxes in the Guest Room.  Our guest will be here the 26th!  Good thing I have the 23rd off for dedication.

...Sneaking away to Christmas shop for Josh.  I will echo the entire families thoughts, he's the hardest one to shop for.

...Staying up too late watching Prison Break Season 4, because Penny Taylor lent us her copy. 

...Thanking my husband and brother in law for putting up some sweet shelves that look great.

...Printing pictures for all those empty frames.  Baby smiles should be decorating my desk by the New Year!

...Finally framing our engagement print and hanging it above the fireplace.  Lovely.

...Peace and Calming essential oils.  You'd never know I was here, I'm so calm.  Seriously.  Thank Linda K.

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Current Location

...Buried under work for COP.  I will return January 24th.  :)

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Tomorrow's Wednesday

Which is small group day.  And I'm not going to be there.  I miss them. 

I love it in Virginia though.  Its sunny.  Enough said.  (Did I mention I get to work from home/Panera Bread/Starbucks and get to sleep in because VA is an hour behind KC?)  I also get to do things like go see the official Santa Claus with Dakota (plus Max and Ella).  How cute.  Even if they do cry the entire time they're on Santa's lap.  Still cute.  And I can now say I am very familiar with Polly Pockets and Zingo.  Never a dull moment. 


We'll be home Friday...small group night!  You'll have to forgive me, there are still an incredible amount of boxes scattered throughout the house. 

And then, the Christmas season can truly begin!  (I refuse to leave the KC Metro between Friday and Christmas.  Refuse.)

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Philadelphia Airport

(Flying to Richmond, connecting in Philly.)

The first thing we see when we get off the plane in Philly is a sign reading:  "Shuttle Bus to Terminal F at Gate A-1."  What gate are we at?  F-25.  Of course.

On top of that - Gate A-1 is at the absolute opposite end of the airport as gate B-11.  Wonderful.

I'm glad we rushed to make our flight, which was listed as on time in Terminal A.  We've been sitting at the infamous Gate F-25 for two hours, the plane just got here, and the gate attendant has no idea when the flight crew will get here.

Thank you Jesus for free WiFi.  And Friends.

Homework?  What homework?

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

My Life...

If I ever get something done on time, Hell may freeze over.  Oi.

Sunday, November 21, 2010

Missions

Its such a weird word.  So many connotations go along with it.  People make weird faces.  Sometimes I make weird faces.

When I was 16, I thought, hey - I'd be willing to do this.  So I should.  (Because hardly anyone is actually willing to do it, if you've ever thought even a little bit that you'd do it - you should.)

At 18, I had better ideas.  Btw, 18 year olds make stupid decisions.

Nineteen was a better year.  With amazing people who wouldn't take no for an answer because they knew better. 

Then I met Josh, who wanted to be a missionary.  So did I, so it was all good.  Then I married him - no going back now.  Seriously, I tried a couple times - he REALLY is a missionary.  Uh oh.  Crap.

We've been preparing for this for a long time.  We studied, prayed, gone overseas, fallen in love with countries.  I was reminded a couple months ago how much my heart desires to go to China.  The possibility arose and I was in tears in seconds.  Someday.  God is still preparing us.  God is using these mountains and valleys and everything in between because it takes years for your heart and mind to train for this.  There's no turning back.  Our lives (though short) have invested time, energy, sweat and tears into committing to His plan for our lives. 

Sometimes I don't get people.  Why they want to be teachers or childrens ministers or whatever.  (I know, its God's plan for their lives.  Whatever.)  If you saw their faces, people who instinctively in their very souls know they have no hope, but have no comprehendable idea of what they're searching for.  If you really looked at people who'd never even heard the name Jesus before.  Have you read the Bible?  The lost are our job.  The mission of God is that every man would know Him. 

(I'm just ranting...sorry to all teachers, children's ministers, accountants whatever.)

My point is...even though there are tiny moments when I'd rather not be prepared anymore for the trials we'll face as missionaries...I couldn't do anything else.  I'm ruined for the ordinary.  This could never be just it.  What I could do though - is spend significant portions of my life telling other people why there are enough Christians and Christian workers in America.  There aren't enough missionaries.  But...that's not the point today. 

Studying Job

Several times I've thought about studying Job during my quiet time - but I never do.  Probably because, its a bit deep and I'm avoiding it.  Well, my OT Ethics class covered Job this week.  Yay.

First of all - if you've known me during my career as a student you will know that I'm a terrible procrastinator.  If you know me now, you'll know that I'm incredibly unmotivated in this whole actually graduating thing.  Put those two together - and I know without a doubt that if I had appropriately applied myself I would have gotten a lot more out of this study of Job.  But, its something ok?  And it counts as homework, not quite time, so its ok that I wasn't giving 100%.

Anyway, one of my textbooks talked about God desiring our honesty.  Honesty.  Transparency.  Job complained.  A lot.  How many times in youth group were you taught not to complain.  (Most of the time, warranted.)  But I think that carries over too much into our adult lives.  Our culture, even our Christian culture, stresses being positive, looking on the bright side, not complaining.  Sometimes it seems as if something negative is said, its labeled complaining.  In our Christian (and American) culture complaining has a negative connotation and is childish, undesireable behavior.  How are we supposed to have the freedom to be honest with our Christian family?

God desires honesty.  We desired honesty in our churches.  The body of Christ should be the safest place to be completely open and honest about our lives.  We should be able to go to one another and be real, even if the current 'real' is negative, being open and honest with one another.  If we can do that, how much healthier would our churches be?  If we could really have the freedom to be honest without fear of rejection.  We could care for one another.  We could carry each others burdens.  When someone says 'how are you,' you should have the freedom to say 'life is really hard right now.'

Anyway, that's my tirade about what I was learning tonight.  I'm a really transparent person, so this struck with me...

Friday, November 19, 2010

Art Auction!

Check out my friend's art auction and view the pieces on her facebook page.  I'm am SO in love with this collection, and pretty much wish I could buy everything.

Nikki and Jordan are on deputation right now just like Josh and I.  If you think we travel a lot - they live in the car.  They've been on the road since September 2009 raising support to go to the Philippines.  Help them get there!  You might even find some cute Christmas gifts!

Moving!

Ah yes, another post about moving!  Can I just say how excited I am.  I have a whole box of give away stuff already, a box of 'to sell' and for the first time ever I have a confident knowledge of where our passports, SS cards and birth certificates are.  Yay.

By the way - if you're in need of any of the following, I'm your girl:  dining room table w/ four chairs, papasan chair, season 4 of lost, brand new crock pot, Rocket smoothie maker, coffee table, and lamp.

Downside, well yes.  If we weren't moving I'd have my Christmas tree up by tomorrow night!  I love Christmas, and Josh and I both like decorating in time for Thanksgiving.  Whether or not he actually has an opinion, I'm not sure, but he at least is agreeable.  I'm excited to pick out some new decorations too this year, because we don't have many.  Josh has requested a wreath!  And some Hallmark ornaments are a must I think.

Also - Black Friday is just around the corner.  I'm getting excited already!  I'm also closely watching Amazon for a certain gift that keeps jumping around in price.  Hate when that happens but they're having a big sale next week so that should be good.  Cannot wait for next Friday - you'll find me standing in line at Target (w/ Josh) thinking warm thoughts and being annoyed by nearby teens. 

Anyway, back to moving.  So far I have 25 boxes packed, labeled and ready for the move.  The living room is still mostly untouched except for what is hidden in drawers and things.  (I'm preserving the 'hominess' of our living room for Josh's sake.  Plus, small group is tonight and we can't have them sitting on boxes.) 

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Pin Prick

I'm trying to remember what it feels like to feel good.  Physically I mean.  I've been to the doctor's office more times in the past 9 weeks than in my entire life.  The insides of my elbows have bruises from having my blood drawn so often.  I went to the optometrist today and was half-scared they were going to want blood too!  Ugh, I feel sixty years old.  Ok, probably not because I don't know what that feels like, but I would really like to not be sick, sore, bruised, or recovering from anything for awhile.  My whole life I always got to answer the "are you on any medications" question with a no.  But today - nope I got to list off three prescriptions.  Three!  I'm a pretty healthy person, and I know there are a lot of people who aren't so lucky.  The thing about being healthy though is that it completely throws you off when you're not.  Tonight my face hurts.  Not enough to take anything stronger than ib-profen or get some nice sympathy, but enough that I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired.  I was trying to remember the last time I had surplus energy and it was probably right before my surgery in November.  But now thinking about that, I'm pretty sure I was exhausted and needed a vacation.  I'm just really sick of being sick.  I'm starting to get pretty whiny about the whole thing, even if just to Josh.  But, I would really like to not be nauseous.  And my whole face hurts.  (I have been incredibly lucky with my wisdom teeth though.) 

In the morning I go in to the oral surgeon's and he's taking the sedative packing out of my sockets.  When he did that on Wednesday I was in tears for more than thirty minutes so, needless to say I'm not real excited. 

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Funny Story of the Day

FYI:  Don't store your broken down moving boxes in the guest shower.  Even though it seems like a good idea because it won't be used before the move and that way the boxes are out of the way and not cluttering your apartment.

I definitely just turned on the shower as I was looking for a certain sized box.  Why is it raining inside?


Note to reader:  you should be really glad this happened because other wise I might have been tempted to write about the saga of my trip to the oral surgeon this morning.  Trust me - its a gross and not funny story.)

Friday, November 12, 2010

Wisdom and Rant

I'm getting my wisdom teeth out in an hour, but I thought I'd write a little something for you today.

I really really dislike when missions is described as an adventure.  Calling it an adventure belittles missions.  Its not. 

I could go on and on (and on) but I won't.  I'm sure I just ticked a couple people off with that!

Have a good day - pray for my poor wisdom teeth.  :)

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Multiplication and Division

I often ask God to multiply my time.  I've been trying the past few days to give my stress about so much to do over to him.  I started praying for him to multiply my time and my productivity.  It didn't really make me feel any better, but at least I was trying to give it to him.  My facebook status said this today:  Asking God to multiply my time.

And then a friend said this "‎...if you are with people, but if you have a lot of tasks you should ask him to reduce the tasks."  I had to read it a couple times because my initial response was "huh?"  My mind wasn't working correctly, but then the sentence formed in front of my eyes.  (Seriously, i had to read it three times because I kept getting all the words mixed up.)  Now my facebook status says this "asking God to reduce my tasks (and the times it takes to accomplish them) today!

And do you know what:  now I feel better!  I'm not dreading going home to all that I have to do.  I'm not trying to figure out a way to leave work early to do it.  I feel optimistic about my evening.  I should have no problem getting my homework done by six, packing until ten, and then tackling some more homework.

God has just blessed my heart today with that advice.  I'm so thankful.  The morning was rough, I was furstrated, anxious, tired, and worried.  Now, I feel good.  Plus, it's Thursday:  CSI is on.  Grey's Anatomy can wait until Hulu.

How much wiser is it to ask God to remove your burdens, instead of making more time to handle your burdens.  I'd much less be rid of them!


Wednesday, November 10, 2010

In Case You Were Wondering...

Though I'm sure you weren't.  Want to know what my desk looks like?  I've gotten quite a few comments on it the past couple days, so apparently this is 1) not normal and 2) intriguing.  I'll upload a picture if I can figure out how, but for now, here's a list of the items on (or under) my desk.

The usual suspects:  phone, computer tower, moniter, keyboard, mouse, label printer, normal printer, stack of fund raising books.  Also invited to the party:
  • my yellow purse
  • three new textbooks 
  • laptop case
  • open laptop
  • empty box (the kind reams of paper come in)
  • Sephora holiday catalogue
  • iTouch w/ pink headphones
  • empty water bottle
  • half empty diet pepsi from yesterday
  • today's diet pepsi
  • invitation to my cousins wedding
  • baby announcements from family who had babies last spring that I found in a stack of work stuff
  • splattering of paperwork that needs to be filed
  • picture from this summer's COP class 
  • missionary applicant files because apparently I can't take the time to put them in the drawer
  • boxes of magazines
  • a dozen post it notes - most are of the ugly yellow variety
  • a handful of ministry letters that need to be addressed and mailed
  • keys
  • bottle of apple juice
Under my desk:
  • three boxes of People Raising materials are under my desk
  • two garbage bags of packing paper that won't currently fit into the car
  • another empty paper box that also doesn't fit into the car
  • raspberry colored dress shoes that were uncomfy one day and got let here
  • working space heater
  • non working space heater
  • garbage can
  • label printer box & cartridges

Funny Story of the Day

This morning I decided to change my contacts.  I've been wearing the same pair for well over the recommended time, but it was time for them to go.  You know the feeling, your eyes feel dirty and dry constantly.  I'd been reluctant to change them because I have only one pair left (and now need to order my next batch) and its just never fun to be wearing your last pair of contacts, having no back if one tears or something.  So, yay!, for new contacts. 

I went to put in the new contacts.  The right one felt great!  There's just nothing like that feeling - so clean!  And my eyes can breathe!  Left contact:  I peeled off the top of that little contact container and, drum role please...no contact!  I'm not even kidding, there was no contact to be found.  And boy did I try:  I scoured that contact container with my fingers, looked on the peel back lid thingy, got on my hands and knees to see if I'd dropped in on the floor, glared at the counter top and cabinet fronts in the bathroom.  NOTHING.  Seriously, there was no contact in that case.  I don't know whether to laugh or find someone to yell at.  Really?  Seriously, how does that happen?

Seriously!?

Thus, I'm wearing my glasses today.  Let's count and see how many people bring up the fact that yes, they've never seen me in glasses.  :)

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

So, How are you doing?

Everyone keeps asking how I'm doing.  I've never been one of those people who just responds to that question with some generic answer - I'm usually pretty honest.  This does of course mean that some people get more information than they were looking for.  So, with so many people wondering (and, at least in this case, they're genuinely wondering and caring) I've really had to examine myself, almost constantly, and I've been very aware of my head and heart over the past several weeks.

This is how I'm doing in this moment in time:

Josh left this morning for Dallas after being home for only one day (we got back from Richmond Sunday night).  Please pray for him as he wasn't super excited about leaving again so soon, he's ready to be home.  He also has a lot on his plate the next few weeks:  moving, traveling to WI, and keeping up his usual responsibilities.

I'm sort of wondering how everything is going to get done.  Homework, housework, and packing.  Oi. 

I'm so excited for small group on Friday night - its been almost a month since I've seen everyone.  In that same venue, I can't really decide if I'm excited for Wednesday small group or not.  I love them all dearly and do miss them but there's just more people and I don't have the emotional capacity for a dozen and a half people right now. 

Moving is two weeks away!  This means 1) new washer and dryer that I purchased and are high quality, 2) a fireplace, which I probably won't use but am excited to decorate and 3) while packing I will have multiple boxes that are going straight to Goodwill!  (If you want anything, make your claim now.)  I also get to FINALLY preserve my wedding dress!  (Thanks Mom!)

Work is crazy busy in a good - though slightly overwhelming - way.  I'm excited for new missionaries and for keeping busy.  Yet, I'm very much looking forward to the day when I am living among Italians and doing something that is directly (instead of indirectly) ministry. 

Saturday we're driving to Wisconsin to pick up some grass-fed beef that we purchased (with the incredible help of my very generous momma).  I'm apprehensive because I'm getting my wisdom teeth out the day prior.  Its funny because Josh and I don't really eat very much red meat - but I guess that's going to change.  Mostly we didn't because what you purchase at the store is not inexpensive and of low quality.  I'm excited for good meat that will probably last us a year!

And, I'm very excited for December, for many reasons.  The Christmas season, seeing family, the move will be over, I'll be organizing (yay!) and my two classes will end.  Hallelujah.  Some other things as well, but the end of the year is looking bright, and 2011 will be so close! 

There are times in your life when you're on a mountain top, and other times when you straining to see the summit wishing you could skip the trials and training that it takes to get there.  Right now - we're wanting to wish away these climbing times.  But, we know that He is training us for the life and ministry ahead.  So, we try in all we are to see the lessons and appreciate these days.  Its hard, to appreciate the trials, but one day we know we'll be thankful for them.


Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance.  And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.~James 1:2-4

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Time Management Series

Oh, you thought I was writing a new time management series?  I think not.  But - I'm reading one.  One of favorite bloggers just started a time management series Monday and I'm in love.  (Not practice yet, but loving the theory.)  In case you didn't know I'm a procrastinator.  This can be equated to extremely poor time management skills.  The fact that I tend to over commit myself definitely does not help matters. 

For instance, I'm several assignments behind in my New Testament class, and what started this week - my six week intensive Old Testament course.  Good job Meghan.  Good job.  (I even thought it started the 19th for some reason, nope, started Monday.)  Three assignments were due yesterday that I managed to complete today.  Oh my.  I seriously considered abandoning the class this morning before even attempting it.  Well, here's to trying. 

Working full time.  Support raising.  Attending small group on Wednesdays.  Leading small group on Fridays.  Church on Sundays.  FPU class on Tuesday nights.  Running four times a week.  Doctor appointments every two weeks.  Wisdom teeth coming out the 12th.  Moving the 27th.  Driving to WI to pick up grass fed beef on the 14th.  Back to VA December 1st for personnel conference.  Life of Christ online class.  Old Testament wisdom literature and ethics online class.  I think over committed may be putting it lightly.  Somewhere in there let's try to fit in laundry, cleaning, cooking, being an awesome/supportive/helpful/encouraging wife.

Here's to trying to do everything.  Can you guess what my New Year's Resolution is?  Am I allowed to start in December?

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Emily

I get to see Emily on Friday! 

She's the only team member we didn't catch up with in October so I'm beyond excited to hug her!  Also, hopefully we'll be able to catch up with her in December when we return - here's to hoping!  And, better planning.  :)

P.S.  In case you were interested, this is my 100th post.  Its not fancy but I think its appropirate.  Very much a picture of my life now. 

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Restless

After spending all day Saturday and half the day Sunday in the car - I'm a bit restless.  I really want to get out a go for a run.  (Which for me, is a slow jog with intermittent walking...nonetheless)  It may also have to do with sitting at a little Starbucks table all day, no wandering the office for some good conversation.  (Not complaining, just explaining.)  I really want to go running!  Also, on our way to the house for lunch we stopped at Target for some new running clothes; its much colder in Richmond than we were anticipating.  All that being said, there are about three hours left to the workday, before I can get into my running shoes.  No fun. 

Monday, November 1, 2010

The Holidays

The Holiday Season is here!  At least for me it is.  I've been so excited for this day, the Christmas decors comes out at Target!  Ok, so some of it has filtered in over the past few weeks, but today was the BIG day with all the glitz coming out.  I'm sure as soon as I get a bit of work done I'll be heading to the nearest Target store to get a look at all the goodies. 

I am SO excited to buy some Christmas decorations this year!  I can honestly say I'm more excited about the decor than the gift buying.  Other than a three and a few (very cheap) bulbs, we don't really have the Christmas trimmings.  (Last year, we were newly married, frugal, and poor.)  Though still doing our best to be frugal, we've been saving for our holidays all year!  I'm excited to have a great tree, a wreath, some Christmas candles in our new fireplace (yay for moving!) and maybe even some festive plates.  Don't even get me started on how excited I am to be hanging our stockings on a real mantel!  Also I'll have to really enjoy our nativity scene this year because we probably won't be using it in Italy.  (Christians converting from Catholicism, especially in a country such as Italy, have a hard time separating nativity scenes and pictures of Jesus from idolatry.  Our nativity scenes will just be one of the many things we'll give up in order to reach the lost with genuine love.)  So for now - I'll enjoy it. 

In many scenarios, I find myself choosing to not buy certain home decor items because I can't justify buying it only to get rid of it in less than two years.  It just ceases to be worth it.  It amazes me the different way you spend your money when your mindeset changes that it's not really yours.  We're learning so much about how to be real stewards of our money.  Anyway, I'm buying Christmas decorations.  I know that we'll use them this Christmas, next Christmas and then either store them or sell them.  Some parts of me nag that it's not worth the money.  But, I've been saving for this, and even though we are leaving the country - we also have to live here for twenty months and two holiday seasons.  Living comfortably is okay.  So I'm doing some spluring without the remnant shoppers remorse. 

So excited for the Holidays.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Something Easy

Yesterday I wrote about wanting something in life to be easy.  Truth is - I am very blessed.  My marriage is easy.  I'm sure there will come a day when we face some struggles as a couple and where our marriage takes much more work than it does now.  But as Josh and I were talking about how hard this year has been for each of us, we realized something.  (I should probably say, Josh pointed out something.  He's much wiser - and more level headed - than I am.)  Through all this, we've had each other to cling to.  When one of us is in tears, we have the other to hold us and pray over us.  We're in this together.  This year our marriage has been easy.  I'm pretty sure I would've given up if it weren't for him.  He reminds me daily that God called us to Italy and He has a plan to get us there.  In those moments, I'm able to completely relax and put aside my worries.

God has truly blessed me.  He's given me a partner who takes so many of my stressors away, who will do anything he can to make my life easier.  We're in this black hole of 2010 together.

Apartment Life

One thing that I do not love about apartment life:  you can hear whenever the maintenance guy knocks on everyone else's door.  And that scratchy sound of a key in the door.  Mumbled voices from the breezeway.  This has been my day.  (As you can probably guess, we live in a great apartment complex if that's all I've got to complain about.)

Good things of apartment life?  I have a list.  When the appliances break, I don't have to fix them.  No lawn to mow.  Or sidewalk to shovel  (Though, I've been tempted because ours takes a good 48 hours to be cleared.)  No maintenance.  I don't have to replace light bulbs.  Those stains in the carpet are annoying, yes, but they aren't tempting me to replace the carpet.  I can have my heat on very low in the winter without worrying about freezing pipes, because the apartments around me know how to share.  I am only responsible for the cleanliness of 1000 square feet.  We travel a lot for work.  And I don't like cleaning, so that's a big deal.

I would love to live in a house, someday, when we have normal home-owner style lives.  Right now we don't, so, I remember the good things about apartments.  But we're moving soon, to another apartment, so this time would have better been spent packing.  In an ideal world that is.

Monday, October 25, 2010

The Black Hole of 2010

I officially christen this year as the black hole of 2010.  Seriously, everything - this entire year - has been complicated, stressful, bumpy, rittled with disappointment and like climbing a mountain - barefoot.  Now, I am not some dreamy idealist who thought life was going to be a cake walk.  Its about ups and downs - and getting up after the downs.  But seriously, I'm pretty sure we haven't had a month where some major, stressful event hasn't drastically impacted our day to day lives.   Like I said, I am under no illusion that life is easy.  But, I was kinda hoping for some easy things.  You know - some things are really hard but some are easy.  Somehow, 2010 has been a year of every single area of our life is a struggle.  Nine weeks left - can I make it?  If we're talking literally, then yes, I believe I'll see the year 2011 unless I die or Christ returns.  If we're talking figuratively, then no, I cannot promise that I'll be sane at the end of the year. The possibility of me withdrawing completely into a fetal position consuming only chocolate ice cream for nourishment is daily becoming increasingly likely. 

In all seriousness, its been a very hard year.  If I could just trade it in, I think I would.  This year, the good did not outweigh the bad.  It was hard, every area of our life has huge obstacles in front of us right now.  Last year was so different.  Our struggles were different, life was simpler and just - less.  Simpler.  Less.  Better.  This is my aim for 2011.  Simpler.  Better.  (Less sucky.)

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Do you get it?

I thank God for people who get it.  They get missions.  They catch our vision for ministry in Italy and run with it.  The number of people who 'get it' has multiplied over the past ten months, and I'm so thankful.  I need people who 'get it.'

Its really exciting to watch people go from not understanding at all to 'getting it' better than anyone else around us.  To be invested and interested.  I'm so thankful for those than genuinely care.  This ministry is theirs as much as it is ours.

Some people support our ministry because they love us deeply.  We couldn't do it without them.  Others support us because they share our passion for the lost and are excited about what we're doing.  We couldn't do it without them.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

See you in Europe

There is something about going to school for missions.  Several things actually.   One, all your friends are missionaries.  The disadvantage of that is all your friends are raising support too.  :)  But it is far outweighed.  These friends, though all busy with life, ministry, family, traveling, working - they get it.  They understand to the very heart what we deal with.  The roller coaster, the highs and lows, surprises and utter disappointments.  They understand what its like to wait, and wait, and wait.  To make countless phone calls that lead to voice mail.  Having unreturned messages.  To have such a different mindset and outlook on life and situations compared to the people we're surrounded with.  I'm so thankful for these friends.  To them, I don't have to explain my feelings.  I can just say it, and they get it, because deputation and ministry is hard.  Hard.  Another hard thing, I want to support each and every one of them. 

Another great thing about going to school with missionaries, and working at a missions agency, I know missionaries all over the world.  Ha!  By the time I deploy to Italy, we'll have friends in Ireland, Spain, other areas of Italy, Portugal, Paris, Tanzania, Senegal, Central Asia.  Ok - if you know me you know I'm probably not planning on visiting Central Asia.  I'll invite them to visit me.

Its a weird life.  But an awesome life.  And its ours.

Sunday, October 17, 2010

Chips, Salsa, & Candy Corn

Its been a few weeks since I've wrote, but my blog was never far from my mind.  First I just got tired of writing about my recovery, than I was buried with work at the office and the past seven days Josh and I were on a recruiting trip to Moody Bible Institute in Chicago.  This past week was exhausting for me, but worth it.  I love talking with students, hearing their passions, and their journeys to discovering God's desire for their ministry.  Plus, I really love seeing their faces light up talking about using their gifts in overseas church planting.  Those moments are worth all the accusative questions.  Fun.

It was also great to spend time time Rebecca, Laurie and Joanna, catching up on their lives.  Laurie's leaving for Spain in nine weeks!  So very excited for her!!!  Their is something about reconnecting with members of the Avant family, I am so thankful to be a part of such an encouraging, loving, passionate family of missionaries.  (Added bonus - friends all over the world with whom to house swap on vacation.)

Apparently the Best Western River North is the hotel of choice in Chicago - randomly learned that our friend Jessie was staying there with her family for the urbanathlon which overlapped our stay!  I may have shrieked when I found out.  I think it's been about a year since we've seen the Lowes (missed Jaimme this weekend though.)  We talked with her Thursday night and were able to hang out and have dinner Friday night as well.  I love those friendships that you can just pick up where you left off even though life after college has thrown you all across the country; soon all across the world.  God has such an amazing way of blessing our lives in the most unexpected ways - sometimes when we don't even know we need it. 

Yesterday we spent time with our team in Chicago.  We even skyped Emily!  It was wonderful to spend time together, just talking and sharing how our lives were going.  Exploring a seven floor mall, some of downtown Chicago, and Rebecca's apartment.  Great snacks - I can never say no to chips and salsa - and great people.  The Husker loss couldn't even spoil our fun.  Or even washing dishes.  :)  Though, I think the boys may have gotten drunk on giggles.  Note to self:  don't leave the four of them alone on a small couch.  Very thankful.  Support raising is a stretching time.  Not many people truly understand the roller coaster ups and down, fears and failures that one struggles with during deputation.  So thankful for our team.

It was truly an encouraging and refreshing week.   Life as we know it begins again tomorrow, and will be forever changing for the next eighteen months when Josh and I step off the plane onto Italian soil.

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Excuse Me

So remember a few weeks ago I had surgery and a side effect was burping. Well now I just burp a lot lately. I definitely just burped really loud during a chapel sermon. Great. Well, excuse me.

Thursday, September 30, 2010

Dreams (List 4)

Dreams for my Life, Desires of my heart, Prayers of my soul...

These aren't just fleeting dreams that I have for this week. I have all kinds of dreams that last for a few weeks, maybe even months. But these dreams are bigger than that. They are things I've wanted for a decade, since I was ten years old and realized how long I'd have to be in school to be a doctor. :)

to be a missionary
to be a wife and mother
to be an author
to have my own business
to share my sense of urgency for the Harvest with others, help them see the lost of the world, watch them take their step of faith as missionaries

I've wanted to be a writer since I was seven years old. I remember writing a story about a chocolate factory in school. I wonder if my mom kept that? The memory is enough. There has never been a time when the visions of my future didn't include a family. Two kids, five kids, biological kids, adopted kids - I've always wanted to be a wife and mom. I've wanted to be a missionary since I was seventeen after my dad died. I've wanted others to embrace overseas missions since I was nineteen at college. The business idea has taken many forms over the years. My business idea when I was eighteen sounds only vaguely intriguing now, my bright ideas that appeared while in college seem so unrealistic now. Today, I have a new business idea, but by I've got a few years before I set out on this venture and it will probably evolve several times between now and then.

I'm excited to look back on these words ten years from now and see how many of these dreams have come true, and to add to my list. I'm already a wife. Before I know it I'll be a missionary.

Hold on to dreams, embrace the desires of your heart.

Monday, September 27, 2010

Transition

I strongly dislike the word transition. But its coming. I can feel it. I'm lying here, itching to sort clothing, organize stuff, purge and throw away what we don't need. At the end of November we're leaving our apartment. I love this place. It hurts to think that we won't be here for Christmas. I have to pause, because it is sad. And it is hard that we're moving. But, on the other hand, the place we're moving to is where we'll live until we go to Italy. We can be settled there, make it our own. It is a blessing to us, and I am excited - except for when I'm sad.

Alright, that was not how I intended this post to go. I was going to write about how excited I was to pack everything and go through things and be able to get rid of what we don't need. I'm excited because all this stuff is suffocating. I'm motivated to sell stuff, give stuff away, throw stuff away. I even listed six things on craigslist today! Pretty proud of myself, because normally I would just ask Josh to do it. But, he's not here, and there's only so much I can do confined to the couch. (Its a very good thing I have such a comfortable couch.)

I am so looking forward to packing boxes, selling the things we don't need, and living simpler. Don't get me wrong, I think I have the cutest dining room table. And I'm very attached to my papasan chair. I'm not selling everything today. But I am getting rid of clutter. Someday, I'll sell it all. Someday, there will be an entire page on this blog titled 'Proceeds Towards Ministry in Italy." Someday. I do still have to live here after all.

For right now, we're mainly getting rid of books, clothes, and unused household items. Oh - and hopefully a dining room table.

Sunday, September 26, 2010

List 3

Weird side affects

  • I'm all itchy. They anesthesiologist said it was a side affect of whatever awesome drug he gave me.
  • My neck hurts. Side affect of having a tube shoved down my throat and than yanked back out.
  • I keep burping. For a laparoscopy your stomach is filled with gas so the organs are more visible. However, they can't take the gas out. So, I'm just the burping Queen. I could out burp the best of them today. Its quite entertaining. I was asleep on the couch yesterday and scared Josh because I burped really loud and high pitched in my sleep and he didn't know what it was.
  • My mouth tastes like dentist office cotton balls on steroids. Another side affect of anesthesia.
  • I get to sleep ALL the time. And watch whatever I want on TV.
  • Great food from great friends.
Okay, so maybe those last two weren't side affects, but they came with the itchyness and burping. I've been so blessed to be so well taken care of. I'm so thankful to all my friends who volunteered to feed us, to my wonderful husband for taking such good care of me every moment, and to my MIL for being there with us yesterday and for doing all those little things. :) Thank you.

Saturday, September 25, 2010

Couch Time

Thank you for all your prayers! Surgery went great, very smooth. Josh got to see some cool pictures while I was in recovery (I'll get to see them in a couple weeks at my follow up appointment). We spent most of our time hanging out in my little recovery room waiting for me to pee - which took forever! Oh my. They wouldn't let me leave until I peed, and my body apparently thought I needed to have three whole IVs and spend 7 hours sitting around until it was ready to cooperate. (That's seven hours after I woke up from the anesthesia.) I was so swollen from all the fluids, my hospital ID band on my wrist was cutting off circulation!

So, here I am, enjoying my couch. Trying to burp up all the gas they pumped into my abdomen. Seriously, I've never burped so much in my life. And ask Linda - some of them come out all high pitched while I'm sleeping.

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Life Has Returned...Sort Of

I'm back from vacation! Definitely ready to tackle the challenges these next few weeks contain...at least I thought so until yesterday. (More on that maybe later.) Life really won't be normal until about a week from now, but at least I'm back in my comfy bed in KC.

Surgery is scheduled for tomorrow morning, 8:30. Hopefully this procedure (laproscopy with the possibility of laser treatments) will correct the infertility we've been struggling with. (I have endometriosis, after stage II its not possible to conceive without surgical intervention.) I'd very much appreciate your prayers!

The new normal is just around the corner. Here we go!

I hope to get back into my usual blogging routing next week while I'm home in bed recovering.

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Viewpoints

On my flight home from Canada today I read a new book, Viewpoints by Steven Shadrach. Its about support raising. My boss had it on his desk last week, sent to him by the publisher I think, and I borrowed it for the plane. (Originally thinking there was no way I'd have time to read it with all the other things I needed to accomplish on the plane and in the airports. Fortunately my laptop battery died so I wasn't able to do homework.)

Anyway, I highly reccommend this text. I was greatly encouraged reading it, and it really forced me to evaluate our methods of support raising. It had some great points I'd never thought of before, and really brought about the need for urgency. I always think of the word 'urgency' in terms of the harvest; but - how can we get to the field and reap the harvest which is our end goal, if we do not have the same urgency in support raising. Ministry in Italy can't happen until we get there. Josh and I are determined not to deploy to the field until we are fully funded, so that we can devote oursevles fully to the ministry. We don't want to be burdened with worrying about future trips to the states for support raising purposes. That is an unneeded and preventable stress. My point, and the author's, we must have an urgency about our support raising - and our partners will see that urgency.

I have several new ideas to revamp our support raising strategy, I'm still mulling them over in my head. But I would love any feedback, suggests, comments, ideas that you may have. Your advice is always welcome. I'd love to hear what you think. For those of my readers in the same boat as I - chime in! I'd love to hear from all of you! If you've previously/currently raised support, what has worked for you? If you support missionaries/Christian workers - what were there methods? What would you like to see as a ministry partner/supporter?

After vacation I'll post some of my thoughts on the book, after I've processed it more in my mind. Look forward to seeing that in a few weeks!

Oh Canada!

Coming to you today from Winnipeg, Canada. The weather is beautiful here - very fall. Though I've no idea what the temperature is because they use Celsius. I would guess its hovering around 65, with light winds. Bright sun, trees changing colors. Fall.

I'm off to vacation tomorrow morning - so very excited! I'm trying desperately to not think of all things things around here that I've not completed. So many things have fallen to the "I'll do tomorrow" pile. Perhaps this is just a symptom of trying to do too many things.

Like right now - I desperately need to be working on a homework assignment which must be submitted before I leave for vacation tomorrow. I'm thankful there's no internet (well, at least no free internet). If there was I'm afraid I would be not as diligent about doing homework ahead of time. I'd leave a few things to do while on vacation.

I've enjoyed my time in Canada - finally putting some names to faces, and just getting a fresh perspective. Hopefully this will help me do my job better.

Well, I'm off to the airport shortly. See you soon Kansas City. But only for a short while :)

(If I didn't need to pack my suitcase for vacation, I'd probably sleep at the airport.)

Saturday, September 11, 2010

1:47 a.m.

It's 1:47 a.m. Tomorrow I fly to Winnipeg, CA for a business trip. Wednesday I leave for vacation, returning the following Wednesday. Two days later surgery. It'll be October before I'm back at my desk. Oh - and then it's only for a week before I'm off to Chicago to recruit.

Logic 201 - week one complete. What have I gotten myself into? Currently enrolled in two classes: a fore mentioned Logic and Life of Christ III. OT Poetry class starts November 1. Oi. And this is in addition to the life I actually like. Thank goodness for life groups and friends and ... well, everything that God has put here to give me the energy to get over the next hurdle. One at a time.

One step closer to Italy. A tiny, tiny step. But...in a year all the steps, the classes, the phone calls, letters, conversations, tears, and joys will bring us to the curb at MCI. Leaving our home and friends and then we'll be on our way. With life packed into 20 tubs. But its the life that doesn't fit in those tubs: the memories, the prayers, the friends who we'll leave behind - that's the day we're looking forward to.

Can you tell it's 2:03 a.m.? Perhaps I'll rewrite this tomorrow and actually make sense.

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Prayer Warriors

Prayer Warriors
About a month ago we attended our church's monthly Family Gathering service. This is a Wednesday night service that focuses on corporate worship and prayer. Time and attention is focused on prayer for the needs of individuals in our church family. We were sitting next to friends, L&B, and they asked if they could pray for our support raising efforts. I was so consumed with thankfulness and encouragement. They remember. I know they're praying for us. I rememeber the day she told me at lunch, a little out of the blue, that they wanted to be a part of our ministry. I am so thankful for them. And just a few days after that night, we were blessed with new ministry partners that exceeded the personal goal we had set for that month. (It was the end of July when our salary from Avant was decreasing - though it didn't put us at a full salary, the gift was more than what Josh and I needed for our household budget.)

We need more of these people on our team. More prayer warriors. I know our supporters are lifting us up, and care deeply for us and our ministry. But I also know that there are people who aren't yet part of our ministry that would pray for us daily. So, I had an idea. October is the next month that Josh's salary from Avant decreases and his salary comes from our personal support. How awesome would it be if people were praying specifically for us every day in October? For our support level to rise, for deepening relationships with our partners, for success in recruiting, for encouraged and positive spirits, for time management in all our commitments (work, deputation, school, ministry).

Adopt A Day
Would you consider committing to praying for us for a day in October? Adopt a day. We would love to hear from you, from questions to whatever day you'd like to pray. If you are able to adopt a day please let me know so we can have someone praying everyday. (I think I'll post days taken below.) This would be so encouraging for us! Maybe you could even let us know that you're praying, and we can let you know how blessed we are by you!

Email me at: Baldwins@avmi.org

Note: I personally suggest October 23rd, it's my birthday and you could pray for me to eat wonderful cake.

What September Holds For Me

Small group and snacks.
Business trip to Canada! I had to purchase my ticket under the name Meghan Murphy because I've failed to obtain a new passport.
New people.
Flying. In a 24 hour window I'll visit MCI, MSP, YWG, MCO. Whew. Not in that order.
School work.
Vacation. Yes. Happy birthday Moms.
Good food.
Laundry.
Surgery. Ouch. It's outpatient. But, I've never even broken a bone before. Nervous? Actually, surprisingly, no.
Drugs. I'm hoping for Vicadin.
Movies. Lots and lots of movies.
Couch time.
Falling way behind in my job.
Hopefully not falling behind in school work.
Friends. Who care for me, encourage me, and make me laugh on a regular basis.

Then it's October! Holy wow.

Friday, September 3, 2010

Thoughts While In Target

You see the strangest assortment of people in Target at 8 pm on a weekday.

Why is light syrup a dollar more than regular syrup?

I really like that blue bowl. Oh wait, $12.99. I still like it.

I would like new mascara.

Edy's ice cream on sale for $2.79 gets me every time.

I wonder if the Pyrex would explode if I bought it.

Thursday, August 26, 2010

List 2

Dave Ramsey's status yesterday was "Tell us your favorite Dave Ramsey quote! You can leave it in the comments below." So, I read through the comments, trying to decide which was my favorite. But I couldn't, surprise surprise.

Don't try to keep up with the Jones'. Because the Jones' are broke.
We buy things we don't need with money we don't have to impress people we don't even like...
The difference between a dream and a goal is a PLAN. Act your wage Live Like No Else, So Later You Can Live Like No One Else! If broke people are making fun of your financial plan, you’re on track. You think you deserve it because you breathe air.

One of my dreams for somewhere down the line, when we're back from the field or perhaps not, is to be a financial counselor. Maybe Someday. :)

List 1

Some peopel have Thankful Thursdays, Five Something Fridays, and other things they post about weekly on their blogs. Well, I like lists. So, every week I'm going to give you a list of something. Whether it be my long to do list, a movie list, or a peek at my grocery list. It might be cool to see what different lists I have five years from now. Whoa - did I just commit to this for five years? Probably not. But...well, let's just get on with the lists.

Movies viewed in the past week.

Dinner with Schmucks
The Switch
The Back Up Plan
Australia
Lord of the Rings Triology

Apparently, I've enjoyed movies as of late. Do not despair, I'm a multi-tasker and was accomplishing other goals simultaneously.

Oh - about the lists - I'm not 'together enough' to remember to do this the same day every week, so I'm not even going to try. :)

Bottled Up

I hate the feeling of being bottled up. Of having to suppress emotions because people won't understand, I won't communicate myself clearly, and everything gets all blown out of proportion. I want to be able to express frustrations and other people to react honestly, without defensiveness. There are times, now for example, when I'm not able to say whats on my mind because its not my place or in dread of retaliation. Can people not take constructive criticism? Can people not just play by the rules in the first place? Can't we all just get along.

I desire unity. Realness. Honesty. Vulnerability. Community. Living life together. Not living life in the general vicinity of one another and calling that community. But actually together. As a team, as a unit. Being real in that. The ability to communicate openly with one another, understand that each person is different, unique, with value to offer. Not always thinking in terms of right and wrong, but with open ideas and examination. I dream of a world where I can give someone advice and their only thought is that I do it to help them in some way, not because I think I'm right and they're wrong. This world is so accusatory, defensive, independent. Can we not live in fellowship with one another? People are different. Different gifts, qualities, talents, opinions.

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Construction

There's a mortar machine running right outside our office. Seriously, its about eight feet from my desk chair. And I'm highly considering one of three options: hitting it with a sledgehammer, shooting it with a shotgun, or severly injuring myself to the point where I cannot be at work. Youtube cannot drown this out. My iPod is also insufficient. Podcasts aren't even making a dent. Josh is seeming to have better luck.

Grind, grind, grind. Screech. Oh, now something is backing up with that great beeping signal. Beep. Beep. Beep. On top of that, let's see how many times we can turn this construction vehicle thing on and off in a 20 minute window. Grind, grind, grind. Somethings wrong, squeak, squeak, squeak, grind some more. Clang, bang, clang, clomp. Let's drop some steel crap on more steel crap and make as much noise as possible. You know what make this day more productive? Hammering. Lots of 'pingy' hammering. It also seems that an electric saw has been found. Really, is it necessary to use all these tools in one day? Oo - it stopped. Oh nevermind, we're playing that game again: on, off, on, off. Because that way one sound doesn't fade into the background. There it is again, louder this time! I REALLY might loose my mind. Whmrrrrrrrrrrr.

My patience and motivation to accomplish work are suffering. Now its squeaking. Seriously?! Let me just bang my head against the wall some more. I may scream. Loudly.

Thank goodness I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow and will only be subjected to this noise for four hours.

Friday, August 20, 2010

Running

Maybe someday I'll be a runner.

I'm on day 12 of half marathon training, and its going pretty well. So far, I'm on track to run my race in January. The first two day were brutal, every muscle in my body hurt and walking up the stairs was a fight. Those first two days, my mind kept wondering if I'd actually make it to the race. Honestly, I'm a little surprised I've made it to day 12. I haven't missed any of my run days, and I think I can contribute this to following my training schedule and resting on the Rest days. (In previous attempts at being a runner, I would run every day for five days straight.) In the next couple of weeks I'm hoping to pick up a yoga DVD and do that on my Rest days. But that will have to wait until September. Patience.

I'm just excited to be running. Hopefully I'll begin to see some visible benefits.

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Thursday Afternoon Thoughts

Being effortlessly cute would be nice. Cute style and outfits and accessories. I'm just not this person, not very fashionably inclined. But it would be so nice if I was. (All the girls at team training are so stinking cute, its almost nauseating. In a good way.)

Maybe tonight I'll finally set up my new MacBook. Its burning a whole in the guest bedroom, I fear it feels neglected.

I found a promo code for 101 free prints from Shutterfly today. Score! Wedding prints, I think so!

I've been incredibly unmotivated today.

Dinner tonight with my MIL and Josh - yay! Except that Eat, Pray, Love isn't playing at the AMC. Dinner and a movie is now just dinner. Bummer. (But, yay for food.)

Ice Cream is on sale at Target. This does not go with Half Marathon training. I wonder if I have time to buy a few bags of chips at HyVee?

This time of year I get an itch to buy new organizational 'stuff.' File folders, labels, dividers, tabs... School shopping was my favorite.

Fifteen minutes of Lord of the Rings over my break was just not enough.

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Just Calm Down

I need to calm down. Seriously, I'm not a very calm person. I'm a little dramatic, somewhat exciteable. I have strong emotions and opinions and I'm a little high strung. So...in the words of Jordan, I need to calm down. I wish I could tape record her voice saying that, because its great. Just calm down. (Really, you have to hear it.)

Perhaps this high strung nature of mine contributes to stressful situations and a lack of relaxation. Realated? I think so. Poor Josh, at dinner he just listened to be talk on and on about the newest thing that had first annoyed me and than got me all worked up. I think I used 20,000 words during dinner alone. I'm surprised I had time to eat anything.

Aghhhhh. Calm. Just be calm Meghan. Breathe.

I'm off to light some candles, find a good movie to play in the background, and read my book.

i just love

Last week I was thinking about relaxation - and realizing I needed some. I needed something that I could DO that was relaxing for me. A big part of me wanted to get all my scrapbooking stuff out and dig into that. Creating and documenting our life is so important to me, yet I accomplish so little of that. Despite wanting to get out all my papers and photos, I couldn't bring myself to take over our living room. At least not until I get some other areas of our home under control. Right now the living room is the most 'together' place. (Actually, right now our guest bedroom is probably neater, even since we had our guest a couple weeks ago. But who wants to go in there.)

I picked up the single volume edition of Lord of the Rings from Barnes & Noble on Sunday. I own several copies of the trilogy already, but haven't seen them since before college. So who knows where those books are. Its been nice to read, to distract myself for a bit. I just love reading. Now I'm very much in the mood to spend an entire day watching all three movies - extended editions of course.

I'm also wanting to read Eat, Pray, Love since it seems to be the book right now. However, I'm seeing the movie with my MIL on Thursday, and it'll just have to wait until I finish LOTR. You can never read that book too many times. Perhaps Eat, Pray, Love will be a good read over my vacation? Hmmm, I wonder if I"ll finish Lord of the Rings by then?

And there it is, relaxation and I are friends again. At least this week. (Pretty soon the novel will become intense, and I'll likely start stressing over that!)

Intensity

If you know me, you've probably heard me say "Dave Ramsey says..." at least once. I'm a big fan. We live by a budget, we use cash for many items, and live below our means as best we can. I do the best I can to stay on top of our budget and make sure we have control over our needs and wants. We don't always get to do whatever we want in the moment, but we also never fight about money. How blessed am I, to never fight with my husband about money? So very thankful.

Lately I've been trying to come up with ways to increase our income/decrease our spending. We're raising support right now, and Josh's job is support based. (This means that he's on a decreasing pay scale, every quarter more of his salary comes out of our monthly support and less directly from Avant. Does that makes sense?) Looking ahead, I know that our income will be less, thus I'm trying to find ways to counter act that event. I started couponing last week, and so far am really loving it. We were able to save a lot out of our grocery budget this month, and I'm using the savings to stock up on some things we consume a lot of (i.e. soda, chips, salsa).

Josh and I are also on the lookout for alternate housing. Our lease is up in November, and though we absolutely love our home, we're hopeful a move could save us some dough. Plus, if we moved, it would motivate me to sell some things and start saving for the move to Italy. Right now I'm finding myself emotionally attached to every piece of furniture we own just because I can be attached for a little while. There will come a time, in the not too distant future, when I will find all my possessions packed in plastic tubs that fit on an airport cart. But if we were moving, that might give me a little incentive, and grant some realness to the impending date of the plastic tubs.

This is just whats on my mind today...how intense I've been lately about finding ways to save money. The coupons have helped a lot and been a little fun.

If you're so inclined, please lift Josh and I in your prayers. Support raising is hard. Trusting God is so easy one day and the next can be so very hard. Its emotional. We know that God will supply all our needs, and he'll bring us ministry partners. But pray for our spirits, that we may be encouraged.

Friday, August 13, 2010

Hmmm....

I had a great idea for a blog post last night...and now its gone. Hmmmm, I have all sorts of great ideas, that just somehow get lost. Well, maybe someday my great blog post idea will be seen here.

For now, just a few words that have been plaguing my mind this week:

Inadequate
Nervous
Busy
Pressure
Unsure
Life
Faith
Blessed
Misunderstood
Trust

Its been a rough week.

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Relaxation, Can't We Be Friends

My husband tells me he doesn't think I know how to relax. Hmmm. So many implications to that statement. Its true, I do enjoy being busy, and there are times when I find it hard to sit still because there are so many things that need to be done. It comes down to me committing to taking a break from all the obligations, and RELAX. Now all I have to do is figure out what relaxes me. Hmmm. I can think of a few things, but I'm taking suggestions!

Its so important to relax. This I know. And our life is kind of crazy/stressful/full of unknowns right now. We're raising support for Italy, we're living on our Recruitment support, we're both starting classes again in a couple of weeks, we're attempting to sell a piece of real estate, we're active in ministry, and all around we're trying to prepare for ministry and life in Italy ..... So, admist all of this, I must relax.

Btw, if anyone would like to buy me a massage, I'll gladly accept. ;)

Thursday, August 5, 2010

People Change Our Lives

I've been thinking a lot lately of all the people in my life who make a difference. There are so many who've touched my life in such a way that I was never the same. Rob & Linda Wanless are one example, I wouldn't be a missionary if it wasn't for them. Then there are people who, with one simple action, remind me of the path God has me on. Brett prayed over our deputation last night. Nikki is in deputation too, and she's a gift from God because we're at the same life stage and going through so many of the same things. Renee is someone that I can encourage, because six months ago I was right where she is now. Jordan and Virginia are two amazing women who caught the vision of what we're doing. All the people in our small group who listen to our rants about deputation week after week, who pray for us and encourage us.

Whether big or small, each one of these people and countless others, have blessed my life in this week alone. Relationships are so important. They're vital to our very existence. To the work we do to change the world. I'm so thankful, because all of these people have been directly placed in my life by God, and I in theirs. We're to love each other, minister to each other, pray, encourage, and build up one another. People change our lives. And we have the ability to change theirs.

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Operation Christmas Child

If you are considering participating in Operation Christmas Child this fall, check out the testimony of a former shoe box recipient here.

Monday, August 2, 2010

Why does an area such as Rome need missionaries?

Actually the need for missionaries in Rome has nothing to do with the church of Rome, which sadly less than 2% even attend, they are considered an unchurched, no faith, post Christian area, where Pagan Priest outnumber Roman Catholic Priest by a margin of 3 to1.. they are in need of missionaries to reach the lost with the Gospel of Christ... that has nothing to do with what religion you ascribe to, because sadly this part of the world doesn't profess to have any faith in God... (Renee Johnson, Team Italy)

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Babies Everywhere

They're multiplying. Oh my gosh. Seriously? Everyone is having babies. And second babies now! For the past twelve months I can't turn around without someone revealing new baby bumps and baby showers and babies. Don't get me wrong, I love babies and flock to 'oo' and 'ah' over infants. But seriously, I can't go a week without hearing someone's 'news'. Its quite annoying at this point. (In a weird way.)

I am thankful for Emily and Rebecca, my single teammates. Thank God for you! Because at least you won't get pregnant anytime soon. I can only spend so much time in the Baby section at Target buying cute clothes.

Note to self: you forgot to deliver the 4 month past due baby gift for Jada. Second note: you have three baby gifts yet to buy for Brogan, Riley, and Bella.

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Eternally Priceless

My friends Justin & Amy are currently raising support to serve in Valladolid, Spain. They're part of a Short Cycle Church Planting team, as we are. The Rabys attended Candidate Orientation with Josh and I in January 2010; they have huge hearts for the lost and are incredible people. Would you consider challenging yourself to give to their Dollar Project for one month to help them with start up costs (visas, plane tickets, language school, and setup). Check it out here.

If you can't go, send someone.


Josh and I are also currently raising support for our own ministry to Italy. If you have questions about our ministry or would like to get involved, please feel free to email me!

Saturday, July 24, 2010

the team

I find it utterly amazing how connected I feel with my teammates after just two weeks. July 10th we didn't even know each other. Well, we knew Grayson and Eryn, and were so excited to see them, but we didn't know the others. I'd FaceBook stalked Rebecca. I'd have several short phone conversations with Emily. But we didn't know them. And we knew Michael and Renee were interested in Italy, but Josh and I both really thought they'd be assigned somewhere different because of their leadership potential and we knew their were teams that needed leaders sooner than we did. (Those teams are scheduled to leave before Italy IV.) Well, too bad for them because the Johnsons are ours! Ha.

How can you feel so close to people you just meant? Does it have something to do with our lives are all changed completely from now forward, entwined with each others for the next seven years. We're embarking on a journey together, faithfully following the path the Lord has laid before us. He's brought us together and given us a team that is truly special. (We all really like each other!) What am I going to do this week? Drive to Lincoln, NE where the closest team members live. Perhaps.

After spending so many months struggling to build relationships with those around me, I am finally making progress. Still though, in the back of my head I know that I'll only get this life for a couple of years before everything changes again. In meeting my team though, I am building relationships that will transcend my impending life change. They will go with me. I know my friends here will support me in the transition into full time ministry, they'll encourage me, pray for me, and tell me to just calm down. But I won't be able to sit with them and laugh on Wednesday nights or worship with them on Sunday mornings, eat at Chilis or play mafia. Life will change. I'm thankful to have relationships that won't be different two years from now. To have people in my life that I'll still be hugging when we're overseas. They're going with me.

Josh and I have been thanking the Lord all week for these wonderful people who have now formed our team. Its been amazing to be drawn together in the way that we have, describable only as magnetism; we've gelled so quickly, effortlessly, as skillfully made puzzle pieces. Each person brings unique qualities, gifts, strengths and personality; when one person is missing the void is felt. We're still learning about one another, and we know there will be conflict along the way, but I'm so thankful for the amazing blessing we've been given in our team. We bonded so quickly; I know I have been blessed so greatly to have these people join Josh and I on our path to Rome.

And so it begins.

Thursday, July 22, 2010

The Big Event

Tomorrow night will be awesome! 20 individuals will be appointed as missionaries serving with Avant! They are all such remarkable people, with stories and lives to share with the world. I'm so thankful just to be a small part of it.

Twenty people going to Bolivia, Spain, Central Asia, France, Senegal, Portugal, and.....ITALY! I can't help but be a bit more excited about the Italy appointees. Its not that I don't love them all, they are amazing people. But I am biased for my Italy team.

I don't know what I'll do after we say good bye tomorrow night. My home will feel as if something's missing.

Note: I'll cry and spend a decent amount of time stalking them on FaceBook.

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Prayer Request

Friends, I have a personal prayer request for you all. Many of you know that Josh and I had listed our property in WI for sale, and that it went under contact earlier this summer. You may also know the property was hit by a tornado in late June. God has been working through the entire situation and has given us so much peace about all the decisions placed before us. We are scheduled to close July 31st!!!! If you think of it, would you be praying over this situation, that the next ten days go smoothly and are uneventful. Josh and I would greatly appreciate it. Also, the 31st will be the six year anniversary of my dad's visitation. While its not the actual day he died, its still sort of significant, and kind of a weird day to be selling the farm I inherited from him. I'd just appreciate any prayers. Thank you all.

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

I Dream of My Team

And I have very specific dreams.

I dream that we'll be a Real team.
That we will love each other the way Christ has called us to.
That we will support each other fully through the hard times we know are coming.
That we would handle conflicts as we have been trained to.
That we can raise support as a team and share this burden.
That we can maintain the unity we have now, both in deployment and team dynamics.
That we will be vulnerable when we're struggling.
That we provide an environment conducive to vulnerability.
That we carry each others burdens.
That the people around us can see we have something special and desire it for themselves.
That we encourage each other in our various gifts and grow alongside each other.
That we celebrate each others victories.
That the way we live, communicate, and work together is a testament of our faith visible to the Italians.

I want a Real, genuine team. I cannot think of a better atmosphere in which to set out to plant an Italian church. I know there will be struggles, but if we can be Real with each other than I have no doubt we'll thrive throughout the hard times - And be better for them. If we can't be a real team, we are not going to succeed in our purpose.

I just want realness. Its so vital. I've seen the product of the opposite so many times. People who were once on fire and passionate about sharing the Gospel overseas are broken and defeated, hurt so deeply. So many times the people who are supposed to be your friends are those that cause the deepest scars on a person's heart. I believe if you can be real, open, honest, transparent, so much pain could be avoided. I pray that our team has the courage to always be Real with one another.

We need to be real. For each other and for the Italians.

Monday, July 19, 2010

Nothing Worse Than Regret

So many times in my life, I've felt the nudge to share Christ and I just...haven't. Something, be it fear, anxiety, lack of confidence, has prevented me from sharing my faith. That being said, there is nothing worse than not sharing and have it be too late. So many times we wait, maybe tomorrow. But do you forget, there may not be tomorrow. People are dying everyday without knowing the redeeming love of Christ. Dying without relationship with Him. People are dying and going to Hell. Every day. All around us. Dying. Did I do all I could?

My dad died when I was sixteen. I was a Christian and had been for over five years. He wasn't. I walked with Christ and did everything I could to show my life as a testimony of Christ's love. But I could have done SO much more. I could have been more vocal. I should have been on my knees every night. I wasn't. And now its too late.

Tomorrow may not be an option. We're in this comfortable American rut, forgetting about the death and hopelessness that is everywhere around us. Its not okay. You might not get a tomorrow. Don't let it be too late.

People are dying.

Bonding

I cannot wait until its official. When we can officially say we are Team Italy IV. I am so shocked with myself, how quickly I've bonded with these people. It's very out of my norm. But they feel like family. There are four other women on the team, and I love each one of them. And I love the kids, Caleb and Faith. Seriously.

Friday, July 16, 2010

This Is the Life

Lately, so much of my life is spent going here or there. I'm always on the move - I very much enjoy this part of life most of the time, however I'm getting to the point where I don't know how to go home and 'be home' for the evening. I'm relishing time with our teammates, and want to spend every possible minute with them. Once they leave though, and go their various ways, I am looking forward to spending an evening at home. Maybe I'll even cook dinner. I think its been about three weeks since I actually cooked a meal. Yuck. My body is craving vegetables. Strange I know. I'd like to go several days without meat. For now, while the team is in town training, life will remain full and exciting. I wouldn't have it any other way.

Buca de Beppo tonight! I am So very excited for this!

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Jigsaw Puzzle

Only God could orchestrate something this amazing. Only He could bring together people from different backgrounds, ages, life stages, and areas - and from this form a complete team which displays a balanced variety of gifts and abilities needed to minister and plant a church overseas. This is God's hand. We can be confident in that, because there is no other explanation. You can almost see His hand its so obvious. Seeing all this come together, watching it unfold before my very eyes, gives me complete confidence that we have followed His plan and not just our own desires. It is a puzzle and we're all these random pieces, but with God's direction, the beautiful painting is complete.

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

IESJ

Introvert
Expressive
Sensing
Judging

Aren't personality tests fun!? I think mine are hilarious, because they're dead on. I'm an Assertive, Expressive Introvert! HA! So So true, absolutely. I love it. I thought I'd just list some words that have recently been used to describe me - by myself and those I work with.

Opinionated
Transparent
Expressive
Delegating
Intense
Crazy
Encouraging
:) Caffeine Dependent
Excitable
Funny
Determined

A coworker said about me "I don't think I've ever once thought, I wonder what Meghan thinks about that? Nope, never." I share my thoughts and opinions. I process a lot through words, through either talking about something, even if I'm talking in circles, or writing about it. In a lot of situations I wear my heart on my sleeve. (Though, there are parts of me you won't ever see unless we're VERY close.) The heart on the sleeve personality only applies to certain parts of my life. But in so many areas I don't desire to keep my thoughts to myself. I express my opinion. I don't even necesarrily need you to agree or listen or whatever, I just make my thoughts known. Expressive. Shocker.

I'm passionate about missions and equally passionate about helping others get to the field. I love my job. I love the people I'm surrounded with, especially during this time of year. If there's one thing I will never be shy about, its that I think you have a role to play in worldwide missions. (In fact, I KNOW, because the Bible says so.) :)

So there's just a little of my personality. You probably all knew that anyway.

Thanks for reading.

Monday, July 12, 2010

My Candidates

I feel like all our COP candidates are my babies. Almost like I raised them. For a few of them Josh and I were there first contact with Avant. I've spent hours on the four and typed dozens of emails answering questions, encouraging, praying for, and nurturing - praying all the while that if God Avant was part of the plan for their lives, that I would have the right words to say. These 20 candidates have taken such huge steps of faith to be here for orientation. I have dedicated time and energy to each of them. Now, some candidates come from Joint Venture churches so Josh and I didn't recruit them. And a few people were planning on joining Avant before Josh started in Recruitment. But still, I've held their app. in my desk and knew of them for over a year. I feel like they're my little babies and their moving off to college. In a year or so they'll get a new job and move across the globe. (Literally, West Africa, Central Asia, France, Italy, Estonia, Spain, Bolivia.) I'm like a proud momma. I feel like I have a bond with each of them already. I've heard their stories. I probably know more about several of them than they'd prefer. Avant is like a family, and their part of it. It's so wonderful meeting people that are like minded, that share our passions, our hearts for the lost, and are actually willing to do something about it. They're stepping off the cliff into the unknown world of deputation.

If you have a moment in the next few weeks, please pray for our candidates: that they would have discernment in where the Lord would have them serve, that their future supporters would have open hearts, that they would be encouraged by their time in Kansas City.

Rick & Corrie (Blake, Abigayle, Emerie), Steve & Brenda (Isaac, Andrew), Chantelle, Tim & Joanna, Darren & Rachel (Evan), David, Emily, Michael & Renee (Caleb, Faith), Al & Michelle (Abigail, Owen), Grayson & Eryn, Lauren, Abbey, and Rebecca.

I love each and every one of them. And I'll miss them all.

Roma

Team Italy IV is headed to Rome in 2012. Projected departure is the third quarter. Hopefully. Prayerfully. When God spoke Italy in our hearts a little over six months ago, we knew it was His voice speaking. I had never in my life wanted to minister in Europe, much less Italy. Our teammates Grayson and Eryn had been planning on serving in Thailand until late December. The four of us have never been to Italy. In the time since meeting with Grayson and Eryn, Rebecca confirmed that she would join that team, barring approval from Avant staff. Emily followed suit a couple months later.

And now here we are. The six of us are together. Our team is not complete. We still need team a team leader. God still has a few pieces of the puzzle in His hand. Luckily, there are many gifted candidates who might fit the bill. God will direct the steps. He will bring to Italy IV the people He has called to that team. He will close doors and lead people in other directions if they could be powerful tools to others teams. He knows how these teams will come together: not only Italy, but also Estonia, France III, Azerbaijan, Tanzania, and Mali. We trust in Him. His plan is best. Though we may have our own hopes, dreams, opinions, and desires - He knows what's best, for us, and for the advancement of His gospel.

In His timing, we will see Team Italy IV. In His timing we will make it to a suburb of Rome.

Roma.

I Love This Life

There are two reasons I love my job: encouraging people to pursue missions, and seeing them take that huge step of faith and actually do it. If I couldn't be a part of our Candidate Orientation Program I would not do this job. Seriously. But this, these two weeks when the candidates come together and share their life, stories, ministry, passion, and aspirations - this is it. I love it. Last night we went to dinner with ten of the candidates and LOVED it. The group ended up being divided into two tables; somehow it happened that team Italy IV was at one table with everyone else at the other. I sat surrounded by my future teammates for the first time. We talked easily, and laughed often. I am excited to grow with these people over the next two years. Our team has formed easily, as if God's putting the pieces of the puzzle together Himself. As a team, we're still waiting for the 'team leader couple' piece of the puzzle. But, we know that God will provide His chosen couple in His timing. For now, I'm just excited that they're here! And more than the Italy team, all the candidates have amazing stories to tell. their hearts for the lost are exploding with excitement to dive into this missionary life head first. I remember feeling that excitement for deputation six months ago. The excitement is contagious. Hopefully, Josh and I will be re-energized by having them all here.

I am a part of the puzzle that helps these people get to the field. God is using me, in this small way, to prepare them. I may not have a significant role, but the every piece of the puzzle is needed. I'm here to minister to them, to encourage them, to answer and question and dissuade doubt. I love having these new missionaries around. They're in Kansas City for two weeks, I'm going to soak in every minute.

Saturday, July 10, 2010

Restless

I kind of want to move. Restless. I wouldn't even need to move far away...just down the street would be fine. Then I could deep clean my apartment. I could go through all our 'stuff' and purge. Organize. Declutter. Become a little more mobile.

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Diet Coke

I'm home safe and sound. And drinking Diet Coke by the 32 oz glass. Josh says my eyes are a little crazy, which is due to the 1804 things I need to get done by 8 a.m. Monday. I have no expectations of the weekend, except for my date with an electric hole punch and a Grey's marathon. Yes, this is my life the week before COP. I secretly love it. The rush of things to accomplish. The pressure to do it all exceptionally well. The last minute details that I have no control over (which make them last minute!) but am still responsible for. I love it.

And new candidates arrive on Sunday. These people I've been communicating with for six months - we'll finally meet. Even though its crazy, I love it. Because its part of people taking the step of faith into overseas missions. Their excitement is contagious. They have new life and energy, excitement for all that is missions. Even support raising. They're overflowing and I do my best to soak it all in. That, and answer their million and one questions: some of which are off the wall, some very detailed, some broad with no real way to answer. This is why I love my job.

I'm off to QT for more Diet Coke. And when I say Diet Coke, I mean diet pepsi. But Diet Coke is way cooler to say.

Monday, July 5, 2010

Extended Vacay

I've already extended my trip once; was supposed to fly home this morning, but I sweet talked my hubby into changing my flight until tomorrow.

Any suggestions on how I can further delay my return to the Midwest are most welcome.

Realness

Just. Be. Real.

I will be the first to say that I've had walls around my heart at different points in my life. They were there for a reason. I built them high and strong, and it was not a feat to be undertaken by weak men. I maintained these walls. And even if someone managed to scale the walls, few were allowed to remain.

It was a lot of work. For a time I was okay with that.

But it is so freeing to just be real. Free from pressures, expectations, and being analyzed. To just be myself and not second guess everything. So much of my frustrations over the last month have stemmed from an inability to be real. At the time though, I didn't know that I was missing it.

That's what it feels like around these people. This is such freeing environment. I crave people that I can be real with.

Sunday, July 4, 2010

Wanted: Quiet

I have so many thoughts running around in my head, but when I voice them, they sound all jumbled and don't make sense. My thoughts don't lead anywhere. I'm finally processing the past month, in this new place, but I haven't come to any conclusion. So, I can't really tell you what I'm thinking because I don't know.

I do know that God has a plan. I sort of think He has seven plans but hasn't decided yet, because it seems like everything is contradictory and doesn't make sense. In some ways I feel disconnected.

I do know that yesterday seemed perfect, but tonight I was uncomfortable. Maybe it was the processing. I have this weird emotion in my stomach that I can't describe. I'd rather have this emotion that none, but I don't really know what it is. And its weird.

Ash and I talked for hours today, mostly at lunch but then throughout the day. Lunch was so good. Just talking, catching up on her life. Sometimes I feel like when you go to visit someone they feel the need to constantly entertain you. Which is fine and fun and all, but part of me is like, I didn't really come here to see Phoenix. I came here to see Ash and Mike and Dez and their church.

My friends here are Real. And I love it. Everyone once in a while, I'll remember something I said earlier and I'll wonder if I'm really comfortable with as much as I said. (Like, Did I really want to share that much info? That was kind of personal.) But I can be transparent here. I can just tell the truth with these people and they'll do the same with me. Its so refreshing. The only reason I have those delayed thoughts is because I can't be transparent like that in Kansas City. I tried, but it everyone was just uncomfortable with that. No body wants to see that next level. How are we supposed to live life together if we can't even ask the questions were thinking in our head? If we can't voice our thoughts, concerns, questions. How can we truly know one another? If we don't have the freedom to ask (& respond) when we don't understand. Its like there's this line and going deeper is not permitted. We preach vulnerability, but we don't experience it.

I have no idea what God is up to, except that I can feel something coming. I feel like He's getting ready to do something, and maybe He's just been getting my attention. I can feel it in that deep pit of my stomach.

Last thought: I feel like I don't even know what to pray for right now. I don't know what God has in store. I don't know where this is all going. I mean, I always pray for His will to be accomplished in our life, but you know that really gets kind of boring to pray for. I guess maybe I just want some specifics.

Thursday, July 1, 2010

Phoenix

I'm finally here...after spending several months hoping I would come. (I know, that's not quite long enough to merit a 'finally.') Some of my favorite people in the world live here. My very favorite people aside from my family. Nights like this make me wish I was better at sustaining relationships. Communication is so easy in today's world. Texting. Skype. Email. Facebook.

These people are world changers. Having given their lives completely to fulfilling His mission, they're here.

Here's to Phoenix.

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Love My Beauty

A friend of mine just hosted Beauty Week on her blog, and let me just say that it was so inspiring and encouraging. This is definitely an area of my life that I need to work on-being the very best me, instead of constantly comparing myself to others.

I have always dreamed of being thinner than I am. Summer time is always a prickly reminder that I'm not fond of several areas of my body. I'd really enjoy wearing a cute pair of shorts. I'd really like to lay out by the pool and be completely confident.

Besides these vain dreams I have, I also desire to be healthy. My body fat index is high, and though I'm not technically overweight, I'm at the very top of the range of what my weight should be for my height (5'7"). Josh and I were doing so well with our eating throughout April and May. I was also loving my workout time and trips to the gym. I could feel myself getting stronger and was beginning to see a visible difference. Though I had lost only two pounds (can you say frustrating), I was beginning to see a bit of definition and perhaps an inch or two loss. I'm really not sure what happened in June, other than some crazy events that very much disrupted our family routine. We ate out A LOT in June. And that's what does it for me-greasy hamburgers and fried food.

What I'm attempting to say is that lately I've been struggling with a positive body image. I think I may swear off shorts for good. I'm just going to stop trying. I don't think I've ever looked good in shorts since I was twelve. Maybe if I swear off shorts, I can avoid all this frustration that I go through every summer.

All this being said, I'm trying to motivate myself to return to that routine: egg yolks for breakfast, straight to the gym after work, more veggies, less meat.

Tomorrow I will be on a pontoon boat, awkwardly uncomfortable in my own skin. Twisted motivation? At this rate I'll be all content with my body right around the time when its time to put away the summer clothes. :)

Monday, June 28, 2010

Lost

My routine has been completely crazy and out of whack as of late. I don't like it. The past three weeks have been absolutely crazy, a hundred events and circumstances that I never even saw coming. Whatever is going on, God has to have a hand in it because this is insane.

I miss blogging. Hopefully this life will become a little less of a tailspin and everything can calm down.

Going to Phoenix on Thursday.

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

I think I have a hole in my stomach

Anyone know what an ulcer feels like? Because I think I have one. Either that or heartburn. Or something very uncomfortable that deals with my gut. It stinks.

I had an ulcer once when I was twelve, but I can't remember what that felt like. I also haven't had heartburn more than five times in my entire life. All I know is that I've had the same 'thing' for the past three days. I'm more annoyed than anything.

So, if you've had an ulcer, please tell me what it feels like. If you've experienced frequent heartburn I'd also like to know. If I decide I have an ulcer I may go to the doctor.

I've just now realized I can probably Google ulcers and heartburn. Or visit those medical sites. But, since I hadn't thought of it earlier and this post is nearly done, I'm posting anyway.

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

And There's More.

As if my day wasn't eventful enough, here's one more...

Josh and I were both sitting at our desks (there's four cubicles in our office, we sit next to each other) and he says, rather nonchalantly... "oh, there's another wasp."

Are you kidding me?! I looked over, bolted from my chair and ran from the room. I'm pretty sure I was yelling something at this point. Probably yelling for Randy to come kill the wasp, but he was no where to be found. I'm not exactly sure why I assumed that Josh wouldn't kill the wasp. Not that I was wrong, because when I returned ten minutes later and asked if the wasp was still around, Josh just said "I think its over there." He was obviously very concerned about it.

Seriously, you should have been there, I was being ridiculous.

What Do These Things Have in Common?

1. Blush
2. Skim Milk
3. Diet Pepsi
4. Josh's diet coke
5. JIF peanut butter

If you can guess I'll tell you the story!

Acutally, you'll never guess so I'll tell you anyway.

These are all things I just happened to spill on myself in a 4 hour window this morning. I seriously need to go home, there must be a full moon or something. I NEVER spill stuff. Story: How I don't know but I managed to spill nearly half of my bare essentials powder blush in my lap on the way to work this morning. (Josh was driving. :) ) Then while pouring milk on my cereal at my desk, I somehow managed to pour it down the side of my jeans and onto the floor. As I was walking across the street, carrying my QT diet pepsi I dripped in on the front of my white tank top. Only a few minutes later I was eating peanut butter and apples at my desk, and I seriously have no idea how this happened, but I dropped a blob of peanut butter right onto the carpet. At least it missed my clothes. And lastly (hopefully!) I went to QT over lunch to get more drinks, was carrying a drink for me and Josh; as I was fiddling with my keys to unlock the door I dropped Josh's 32oz drink, managing to catch it only between my body and the car. While I saved the majority of the drink, several splashes found my jeans.

Needless to say, I got about a week's worthy of dramatic effect into my morning. After the peanut butter incident I had a good long rant which lasted all the way to the second floor as I was looking for some all purpose cleaner. Another entertaining rant was given when I returned from QT after lunch. Anna checked and, thank heavens, there is no full moon tonight.

Thankfully, there are no breakables within arms reach.

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Wonderful Daily Grind

Work is busy! This summer's candidate orientation program (COP) starts in just over three weeks and I can feel the craziness beginning. It probably should have begun a couple weeks ago, but I'm being more laid back this time around. Although I'm enjoying this laid back version of myself, its going to cause a problem because more than half our candidates have not paid their registration yet, so I can't 100% count on them attending, ... I'm sure you really aren't all that interested in the details of my job.

In the bigger picture, we have a possibility of appointing between 18 and 22 new missionaries next month! How amazing! (I'm saying between 18 and 22 not because I think we'll reject a few, but because those few may need to attend training in January.) How lucky am I to spend my days working with people hoping to serve on the mission field. 10 months out of the year I just like my job, but these two months when I spend everyday talking with our future missionaries - I LOVE my job! Yesterday I spent 30 minutes talking with Kelly* answering her various questions about what being a missionary might look like for her. I've had many of the same questions myself, and though I most certainly don't know all the answers, I can identify.

Josh and I went through our training past January, and I must say, it was one of the most valued times in my life. To be surrounded completely by individuals who "get it." We were able to identify with one another, be mutually encouraged, share stories of our frustrations and hopes and plans for the future were met with excitement rather than indifference or critical questioning. I can only hope that our candidates who arrive in July will be as blessed by this time as we were. I'm very much looking forward to having them here.

Also great - four of these future missionaries are planning on joining the Italy IV team. So barred any unforseen dramatic events, (someone turning out to be crazy) the entire Rome team (presently six) will be together. I'm very excited for this.